My favorites were unwording and chapter shuffling. Nice work, very funny.

So, if I actually had a FictionPress account, I would definitely follow this story, because it just makes me smile. Probably because I've been there. I think we both have. :)

After reading Dragonfly Prince, it's cool to see you writing humor. Turns out, I love all of your styles. (That's right, because I remember smiling like none other while reading your Princess Bride fanfic...) To Byrd, a writer of many talents, this is for you: a review. :) (Hey! That rhymed!)

You never cease to amuse me. The "review lords" line made me think that reviewing was also secretly a part of some sort of online fiction mob! Lol. I've never actually seen a Red Alert, but I'm awfully curious!

Oh shoot...there was another line I was going to tell you cracked me up. Huh. Can't remember. Oh well! Excellent work as always. Thank your beta for me! I'm glad you posted this!

I love that you have "admit this in a review" at the bottom of your story. I noticed it before, but never bothered to say anything. But it is sort of a "method for the madness". :o)

Okay. I'm kind of unintentionally guilty of some of these. If anything, it's the back scratch reviewing. Oh hey, this person fav'd or reviewed. Maybe I ought to check out their work, too. Oh hey, a story to review on...

Do you think I can break my addiction, Byrd? I discovered that part of the reason I'm addicted to my email is because I'm addicted to reading "Review Alert!". I think I can I think I can...

Oh gosh. *hangs head in shame* This describes me. As in, right now. As in, in a recent email to my friend (a fellow Whovian and literature aficionado) I said, "ReviewsLOVE. No reviewsangsty author." True story.

I will hold off on publishing...well...anything until I can manage to make it semi decent and comprehendible.

It's like a never-ending loop of

1. Post story

2. No reviews

3. Post another chapter

4. No reviews

5. Post another story

6. One review!

7. Get excited and start the process all over again!

Once more, I adore your writing style.

Hi, my name is Iliana11, and I'm a review addict.

Oh Byrd, this was fantastic! It had hints of sarcasm, cynicism, and just outright humour. (Yeah, I felt like spelling it British style!)

Is there an intentional reason why WoWoWitWrit reminds me of NaNoWriMo? ;)

Ooh, you have four stories on here? *sneaks off to read more of your clever writing*

Short but sweet. I've stopped looking for errors, it's becoming frustrating not finding any.

Love the foreign country part. Another brutally truthful chapter.

Hee hee. I do slightly worry about your distaste for 'disjointed' poetry, because, although I think freeform as a genre IS overdone on here, 'disjointed' is probably the best word to describe the style of poetry I will one day upload here. No matter- another very amusing offering, especially the 'statement' we're supposed to intone at the end. Very symptomatic of our 'therapy culture'.

I enjoy how you spend each chapter denouncing review-addicts (a worthy pursuit!) and then, as each chapter ends, you beg for reviews under the guise of making us 'own up' to review addiction. Delicious little twist you have there. Another great chapter. I recognise those tactics you describe. One girl I saw DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER to review her own, reviewless work under a DIFFERENT penname. She did it as herself, and her review for herself read, 'Now maybe my story will get some reviews!' Have these people no shame?

'Teeth Whitening Strips Journal' - Christ, how I loved that! The amusement comes from the fact that, terrifyingly, you're only SLIGHTLY exaggerating the directionless drivel these review-addicts often post. Each fictional 'story' summary was so bloody FUNNY. You're my kind of person, MT, you have a high-tech 'nonsense detector' and it's working at full capacity. Wit, that's what you have, too, wit, which is quite different to humour. It's humorous if a toddler falls into a paddling pool, but there's no wit involved. Regarding your message to me- you're utterly correct, I've been writing for years and I'm reliably informed that I'm good at it. However, I've no computer, only a phone. Excitingly, this state of affairs is changing, though, so if you're curious, put me on 'author alert' & I daresay when I can submit something you'll be the first to know. I could've said that in a PM, but I'm lazy as sin.

I don't know how long you can keep this going. And I have to say I'll be sad when it ends. These updates manage to bring a smile to my face even after hours of reading awful "stories" and typing 'Great job' hundreds of times.

I loved the "Pencil Eraser" line. Anyway, gotta go.

Great job! (sorry it's a habit)

There is one vital ingredient that is lacking in the 'humour' section on this site - and do you know what it is? HUMOUR. Strange, no? I can quite literally count on the fingers of one hand the pieces that have been housed in this section that even made me smile, let alone chuckle. The fiction in this section usually consists of 'random' real-life conversations with strange, meaningless in-jokes, all of which has been faithfully copied down and typed up and submitted by brainless teen girls who 'know' only two things about humour - 1. If they find something funny, then everybody else will find it funny. 2. Wacky and random is ALWAYS funny, and any statement which does not make sense is, by its very nature, hilarious. But you're not one of those - I loved this. The charming use of appropriate jokey names, the fictional world you create where you visualise a world of unremitting, bland, one-line reviews (I'm guilty of sending such reviews, sometimes!), the brilliantly clinical tone of your 'scientific' prose - it made me smile very much indeed. Bloody well done! I'd say more, but I've got to go, it's late.

Yet another perfect chapter. I find myself looking harder for basic spelling/grammar errors because I don't think I've ever noticed anything like that from you. Your writing is flawless.

Always looking forward to more.

BTW I'm writing a novel...

"Hi. My name is A.E.J., and I am review addict."

Sigh, the liberation. You are a hope to many. Feel the greatness, MT. Feel the greatness.

This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read on ficpress. Your erudite handling of the review problem only lends to the hilarity. I laughed out loud while reading this and have tears rolling down my face as I write this review. I never cease to be amazed at your talent, whether on ficpress or on fanfic. Keep it up, please!