|Reviews for I Don't Care|
| LilMaria chapter 1 . 4/28/2011
OK, that was pretty good for your first story!
First thing I want to note is the use of detail. You were extremely concise which is great until a certain point. Sometimes its OK to use a little too much detail.
When she sees his parents, you need to throw more emotion into it. To me it felt a little bland. Try putting yourself in the characters shoes and write as you mentally act it out.
More detail with the dialogue would be good too. Such things entices the readers, as my professor says.
Also a few grammatical and spelling typos, but we all make those! I know I do. Microsoft is NOT my friend...gr...always good to keep tabs on those.
all in all, I commend you for a good start! keep going!
Peace and Love