|Reviews for The Dull Colored Peacock|
| mousegirl05 chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
I admire the way that you are able to change your writing style to fit your story ('modern' for In His Arms, more 'epic' feeling for the myth, and here very traditional story-telling). I have never been very good at that and so am very jealous of those who do it well.
This was also a sweet tale that I enjoyed reading through. I thought it was fun that the characters had no proper names but rather adjectives. It was fun. _ I won't pick any out, but there were a few grammar things (okay I lied: 'to' when you mean 'too' [as in also or 'too much'], 'grown' for 'crown', a couple of misspellings) but really the story itself is so smooth and 'sweet' that seems enough for overlooking such things. (Be warned, it is rare for me to say such things. I TRIED to give the Twilight series a chance, but I couldn't get past the atrocious grammar in the first 4 pages. *rages* Ugh.)
| TyBunny chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
That was an amazing story, thank you for allowing us to read it. :)
| SettleThePetals chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
This is the cutest little tale I've EVER read. My GOD. You had me squealing at one point xD too. effing. cute.
thank you for the amazing read!
| Crystalynn chapter 1 . 4/26/2011
For "The Dull Colored Peacock"
This was very sweet. The imagery was lovely and the tone definitely has a fairy tale reminiscent ring. It was very soothing and beautiful. The only problems I spotted were slight grammatical errors, such as using "to" where "too" is intended. EX: "He was too embarrassed" vs "He flew to the tree."
I actually went on youtube and looked up videos of peacocks dancing. That really added to the effect. I only wondered how he managed to dance with that dress on! lol!
Anyway, I think it would be super sweet if the Beautiful peacock encouraged the dull one to take his present off. Maybe tell him it's the inside that matters most, and that he likes him just the way he is.
It's perfect that he admires his personality and demeanor too.
I think it shows a very good example, and that is essential for Fairy Tales.
Only suggestion I could make? More showing less telling. Maybe mention that the peacocks dislike him earlier on, rather than just before he gets in a confrontation with one. That seemed a bit sudden.
I feel like the moral is something similar to "the ugly duckling" but I like this better because the duckling didn't have to actually change his appearance. He got a new outfit, but his partner preferred him even before then.
Overall, a lovely, soothing read. The fact that the characters were peacocks was a sweet bonus.