|Reviews for Pen & Paper|
| Deedee Elle chapter 2 . 1/30/2012
I had forgotten this one, glad I came back to it now as it is a really intriguing idea.
I think in the conversation between Zoe and Debs they're both very accepting of what happened really quickly. I think it would work better if one of them were a bit sceptical about it happening and not just coincidental. Debs' sudden change to not believing when she meets the man seems a bit of a swing given how much she did seem to believe it early on.
The scene with the cat was funny but I felt you just let it go a bit quickly. I hope you're going to come back to that in the next chapter.
I like the fact you are setting up a bit of a mystery about Trent and that I don't know where you're going to go with this.
| J112011 chapter 5 . 12/5/2011
I think I'm confused. So is Trent... the all powerful god of some sort that showed himself to Zoe? Is he the one who gave her the powers and took them away? Too many questions... Nevertheless... Great story!
| J112011 chapter 3 . 12/5/2011
Very interesting chapter! I've got more questions at this point than answers, so I just have to keep reading.
I smirked at "panting heavily as if she had just broken water" And overall, I like how you write!
| J112011 chapter 2 . 12/5/2011
Nice ending! You're getting me hooked with this story! I gotta go to chapter 3 now!
The conversation with the cat is great! And I like how you describe the office.
| J112011 chapter 1 . 12/1/2011
Wow. Interesting beginning. I didn't notice that it's several chapters when I started reading. I'll have to make sure to put aside some time tonight to finish it.
I really like it. The only thing that threw me off is when you switch scenes. I had to re-read it a couple of times to realize that some of the scenes are recollections from the day or previous day.
| Deedee Elle chapter 1 . 8/3/2011
I like the start with the description of the idea leaving her head. I got a little confused about the location as it seemed to jump rather abruptly from her living room to the office after the paragraph Zoe writes.
The concept is really good and you get into the action quickly and I like the twist about the promotion.
The way you segue between the description she writes and then having Trent finish the sentence in the conversation is very effective.
| Christelwise chapter 1 . 7/26/2011
The theme of this story is fresh, like a time-travelling kinda thing...Makes you anticipate for more. I have only read Part 1 and am already loving the interaction between the characters. Keep it up!
| xHopeless Romanticx chapter 4 . 6/15/2011
Wow! This is really interesting! I can't wait for more! I love the idea of being able to write he future, but the storyline seemed a bit rushed. If you slowed things down, added some more details...it would flow better :)
Review me back!
| Natalie Field chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
Reminds me of a movie I've heard about called Stranger Than Fiction. You should watch it. _ But I think this is different. Interesting story you've got here. Keep it up.
| the ticking clock chapter 4 . 6/7/2011
Interesting chapter...THe tension is building. The end was just hilerious. The description spot-on and perfect, although I was a little confuse about why Deb's boyfriend became abusive out of the blue...
other then that though, great chapter!
| Serendipitist Swan chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
"She'd had an idea barely half an hour ago, but by the time she had reached home and sat down to write, the idea had flittered out of her head like a bird escaping a cage."
-So true. If you don't write the idea fast then it either disappears completely or loses potency. I never though of explaining it using a bird metaphor though. I thought of it as a balloon floating away.
"She glanced up from the computer in the office, eyes locking on the handsome man being led in by her boss. His hair was the lightest shade of brown, verging on blond, and it fell elegantly into his eyes...
Zoe flashed a smile at her co-worker, who stifled a yawn before sitting beside her and placing a cup of coffee in front of Zoe. Debs groaned as she stared at the monitor screen, taking a sip from her own mug."
-At first I didn't recognize the scene change. Maybe you could put a couple of asterisks to show that time has past.
"Trent's going to be wondering around for today,"
-That would be 'wandering'
The story reminds me a bit of the short story The Monkey's Paw, though a much much lighter version. It has the elements of wishing, or in this case writing, for something and then having it come true, though not in the way that was expected.
I did enjoy the story and the only critique I have left is that your summary could be a little stronger.
| the ticking clock chapter 2 . 5/6/2011
wow! Very emotional and well done! can't wait for the next part...Trent seems to be a pretty important charector, and Debbs little argument with Zoe addeded a nice amount of tension, good job :)
| Sepulchred chapter 1 . 4/29/2011
Love the style, love the idea, want more, write more, My brain is fried, can't be eloquent tonight.
| the ticking clock chapter 1 . 4/28/2011
Intresting and very original idea! The writing of the future is very well done, and the dialogue realistic. Good job. :) You described the charectors really well, I could clearly picture what they look like. My peice of advice is, describe the emotions more. Using Similies and Metaphors is a good way to do this, I find it helpful myself. Describing the emotions more will just add more depth to your writing, and make this already enjoyable story phenomanal! I really liked the ending of this section, it was a good cutoff place, and it left us waiting for more. Good job. I look foward to finding out more about writing the future!