|Reviews for Whirlymerle's Potpourri|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 13 . 6/21/2012
Firstly, no worries about not returning! :)
Secondly, I really liked that piece. I loved how you kept it unclear as to why you were meeting him until the end. Kept me guessing all the way, though I knew the answers that seemed obvious (drugs and online dating) were pretty much not going to be it. I really liked that aspect of it. Loved it, and can't wait to see the next one.
| DutchAver chapter 13 . 6/18/2012
Lol. Just trying to understand the point of this chapter a bit, because this is certainly not like your essays so far. I guess you had your first driving lesson? How was it, did you like it? I'm still stuck at trying to get my driver's license, unfortunately. Me and my instructor don't get along, so I'm trying to get a new one :(
Hope you'll get your license sooner than I did
| Marla's Found chapter 2 . 5/31/2012
Cute: When you started off with :...Anywayzz, I am the treasurer of my class..." I thought okay this is about money.
Then...your line of "...I was supposed to meet with my student council advisor to make sure all the monies are properly taken care of. Except, he was nowhere to be found..." I immediately thougth this story was about embezzelement.
But then you cracked me up with: "...I walked past the bathrooms and heard the sweet melody of a flushing toilet..." That line was hilarious and I thought maybe the advisor was destroying information via the commode?
All in all a nicely written little thought that was entertaining. Thanks for the chuckle.
| simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 5/14/2012
"heard the sweet melody of a flushing toilet."... I loved that line. It was such a great way to describe it.
I like the piece. It's funny and the way you describe prom is great.
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 5/13/2012
Review Game's Review Marathon prize review! Congratulations! (via dragonflydreamer)
I like your tone and voice here; your writing here is personable and easy to fall in to. There's a definite personality behind it. Content-wise, I liked it. A little rambly in spots, but I thought it was interesting and thought-provoking.
| MissColly chapter 2 . 4/24/2012
Wow! This chapter is hilarious! I can't believe he saw you in the mirror!
I love how the chapters are short as it makes it seem like a diary entry. Your writing style is great as you make the reader feel as if you're just talking to them in a normal conversation which is always good in these types of stories. I love humour so I was really happy to see a lot of that in this chapter and the fact that this is like a true story makes it even funnier.
(That may make me sound mean but I am deffo laughing at your little embarrassment with your adviser)
I would say that maybe you should update more frequently as the chapters are short so readers may want faster updates. However I know this can be hard because interesting things don't exactly happen everyday.
There was one sentence in there which was very long and consisted of many commas.
"Typically, involves boys stressing over cutesy-creative ways to ask girls out, and girls stressing over the horror of not getting asked to prom and being forced to ask an underclassman, whether or not the person who does ask them to be their prom date is cute or gross, whether or not to say no if the guy is gross, and as the date comes closer, whether or not they bought the same dress as another girl."
This can be annoying to some readers (not particularly me though) and can be easily fixed by splitting into about two or three sentences by addinf fullstops in appropriate places.
Well done for thinking up a great way to share interesting things that happen to you as they are definetely interesting to read. I think you've done a great job with making this sound like a diary account and this will appeal to a large audience (coz who doesn't like humour) so keep it up. )
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 12 . 4/1/2012
You know what, I feel really bad for not even noticing. I never usually check out profiles on FP unless someone's posted a new story/chapter up. Which sucks, because I really, really loved Glorious Triumph. To the point where everytime a new chapter would appear, I'd have this huge grin on my face. Huge shame. As usual, I find myself agreeing with pretty much everything you say here. Especially the last but one paragraph; thanks & a hug returned to you, too.
| DutchAver chapter 12 . 3/29/2012
*Pat pat* I miss BarbieMonster too. A while ago, I scanned through my 'Favourite Author's'-list and found that an author with a random string of letters as pen name with zero stories somehow got there. I quickly drew conclusions and looked for who was missing in my list - and it was BarbieMonster. I really miss her story, Glorious Triumph was one of the best things I've ever read and it's such a HUGE shame that it's removed now :( I really felt we had a good friendship, together with ShortcakeMattie - who has left the site too, since she doesn't update anymore. I hate how internet-friendships can be so fragile.
I do hope she won't stop writing, though. She was so good, it'd be a loss to the writing world if she'd stop at all. Maybe, someday, I can buy Glorious Triumph over Amazon, or something. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Maybe she stopped because she found a publisher? If so, I still think she should've included a note in her biography. We'll probably never know.
Anyway, I'm not going to make promises, but I'm not planning to pull a BarbieMonster anytime soon. Been too long on this site to leave it now :) And you've still got me ;)
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 11 . 3/24/2012
Personally, I'd say honesty has it's place, and usually that place is in a room with your best friends who know you well enough to know you're a good person and, no matter what you say about someone, it doesn't mean you're going to be nastyhorrible or whatever. We all need a rant, sometimes, and sometimes that may make someone sound horrible when they're not really like that. If that makes sense. As always, I really like the observations you have here and the different things you point out and, again, this is personally, I think in a world where [preferences over race become as harmless as personal tastes] then it would mean everyone was seen the same and as equal; you wouldn't be judged for not wanting to get with someone because it#s the same as that person not being your type. If, again, that makes sense. Anyway, yeah, great stuff and can't wait to see more of this again.
| DutchAver chapter 11 . 3/13/2012
There's this beautiful saying in English that says 'you never really know someone'. It's there for a reason - everybody lies sometimes, just to protect others from what they're really feeling. I, for example, am a very frustrated single. Whenever one of my friends gets in a relationship and tells me, I tell them that I'm very happy for them - and I really am trying my hardest to be happy, but there's just that stupid feeling of jealousy in the way. That's a lie, but I don't want any of my friends to find out about that at any time(I even wrote a poem about it, you can find it on my website... it's called 'Autumn'). But in general, I try to tell the truth, even though I'm a good liar. Nevertheless, it's no shame to lie about those things(I believe they're called 'white lies' in English.).
As for the racism, I think it's no shame to have a preference in race and it should be so innocent as not liking someone because he/she's blonde. After all, someone's true personality goes much further than race and I don't think Beth really is much of a racist, being Asian herself. (Your friends don't read this, I presume? ;) )
And racism isn't just a problem in the USA, it's very strongly present in the Netherlands too. Just google the name 'Geert Wilders' and find out what he stands for - he's a politician and a quite popular one at that too. He makes me ashamed to be Dutch.
| n.p-simmons chapter 7 . 1/5/2012
I'm pretty sure most of the people I know don't know I even write at all... ,
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 10 . 1/4/2012
A belated happy birthday to BDTR! Very glad to hear about the changes you made to the story originally, as I think, as it was originally, it wouldn't have become one of my favourite stories on the sites and, therefore, wouldn't have put you as one of my favourite writers. And I totally get what you mean with meeting and talking to different writers on this site; I never would have though something like Minor Talent, for me, which be such a hit with American readers. And yeah, it does make you wonder about the six degrees of seperation idea. It's interesting to see where you take the different characters from, too. I think writers might do that subconsciously anyway, but to do it intentionally is interesting to see. Anyway, good luck for the rest of BDTR!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 9 . 1/1/2012
As always, yeah, I think you get it spot on. My boyfriend goes on 4Chan, and showed it to me before; I happily admitted that I would most likely never go on it and post, because although there may be many people on there who would be respectful, the annoymous aspect of it means anyone can say what they like, with no repercussions. And yet...I don't disagree with it. I think it's great that there's a place like that online, but it's when that sort of attitude leaks into other areas that I start worrying for humanity. And letters are great. I'm at University about 5 hours drive away from home, my best friend got me a Harry Potter stationary set, and wrote her address on half the envelopes. We wrote back and forth to each other throughout the year, and it's such a nice feeling to see a handwritten letter sitting with the rest of the post. I tend to write to my Gran, too, and send her postcards from Uni. Anyway, yeah, great stuff & thanks for sharing :)
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 7 . 12/23/2011
Personally, I told very few people about FP. Until I got to University. At which point, I was more open about my writing in general - studying Creative Writing, most people tend to ask about if you write and if they can read it. Now, I'll happily talk about it. But yeah, I can see what you mean - sometimes, it feels weird trying to describe your story in real-life. And it used to be a guilty pleasure but now, well, no point in me hiding it.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 6 . 12/21/2011
Personally, I think, especially in the early stages of someone's work, pointing out that something is cliche can be important. It doesn't mean it's a bad thing; if I point out "oh, this plot/this character seems a little cliche", it's with the expectation that the author may already know this, but may, in due time, turn it around so it isn't cliche, so it is different. And if they haven't thought about it, maybe pointing it out will help them do that. Yes, I do think teacher-student relationships are cliche BUT I think you handle it in a way that isn't cliche, and aspects of Rebecca's character may also be cliche but, again, the way you handle it twists that. And that, to me, is what's fun about cliches. They're cliches for a reason - because they work. But they're much better when someone makes a cliche not-cliche. With The Scarlet Ltter...if she had left the community, she wouldn't have that many places to go. At least, that's the impression I get. Anyway, as always, really enjoyed reading that. :)