|Reviews for Ward|
| scaredangelsneversleep chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
Interesting piece..Insanity is such a sickly sweet thing to observe in a autobiographical type of writing. The character intrigued me to say the least. Bravo.
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
So, now that I'm finally getting back to you after your enthralling critique of my piece of pop-literature (the two were comparable in length, I believe), I can assure you that yes, I do know that story had no depth. I wrote it for shits and giggles. Don't hate on my shits and giggles. I need all of them.
And also, don't ever call me "little brother" again. I find the implications degrading.
Finally, I would like to point out that you only know me when I'm around you. Your assertion that this story makes me a "big softy" betrays your ignorance (and your inability to understand the foreign concept known as the Line Break). I am guttural, more so, in your presence so as to counter hour long telephone conversations with a girlfriend while you are out to dinner with friends.
Now, we've talked about your semi-autobiography at great length already, so I'm going to point out some other things in such a fashion that your self-described "flamboyant" mind of "high art" and "unsentimented Edwardian limeys" can understand.
In our relationship I am reminded of a series of insulting comments between two writers of some fame: Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner. The infamous secondary correspondence went as follows:
"Faulkner: '[Hemingway] has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
Hemingway: 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'"
I think there's some truth there. In this piece, however, I believe we find our common ground (also, I would like to point out that my poetry is more serious than any of my prose - you just refuse to look into it). I enjoyed this because you made a connection with the readers before jumping into a character study. You don't limit yourself to communicating solely with themes and motifs; rather, you expand it to include the impatience and the undesirable nature of the setting in a reader's mind. Your willingness AS A WRITER to lower your nose for a moment allows many a reader to grab on to its substantial girth so that you may carry them to the high and mighty places to which you desire to go. Now, I feel like that's more difficult for you in a non-autobiographical setting, as you would have to present yourself as less than perfect.
I really am proud of you for branching out like this and trying something new in your prose. Now if only we could convince you that prose is merely an extension of the emotional, thematic, and artistic facets of poetry, we'd be golden.
Can't wait to pour a few bottles back with you in August, my good friend. Though I would ask that you put more effort into an attack on my masculinity. I do believe I have the upper hand. I'm a true-blooded Hibernian, after all. I have the druids on my side, the RCC, and all of the Æsir, courtesy of my Viking-raped ancestry. I don't believe you can compete with that.
| LiberryBooked chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
This piece was great. I loved how you did it in first person point of view so that we could see first hand the craziness of the main character.
I think your descriptions were strong and that they really added to the work as a whole. And I did like how in the end he does get out of the hospital, but the reader is shown quite clearly that he's still crazy. I think that made for a powerful ending.
| Boy at War chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
"I was too engrossed in the Soviet Labor camps of Ivan Denisovich to pay him his due.."
I was a little confuse by this line, I thought it was a metaphor of the way they were being treated but I don't think it was. I wish you had been a little more clear there, but never mind that I now know that is a book, but you should be a little more clear on that.
"... I focus in on his cockroach brown eyes and stare blankly." I like this line because it is a clever way to reiterate that the speaker hates the person he is looking at.