Reviews for Mental Picture
crypticperson019 chapter 1 . 12/22/2014
I love the depth of your story and the originality of it. The emotions were displayed in great detail. Cheers!
dogs-cats chapter 1 . 11/13/2014
This is really cool! I love how you wrote it with only her talking.
Sleepiest Writer chapter 1 . 7/1/2014
This was very entertaining. I kind of felt like I was watching a sitcom or something, and I especially liked the lady who was speaking about the painting. Did you have a picture in mind, or were you just imagining a painting?
Guest chapter 1 . 2/20/2014
bravo! the last time i've read something with such fluency and layered structure, that too in a short piece was when i read poe and the bengali writer shirshendu. you are a truly taleneted writer.
littlemisslibrarian chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Well this is very interesting! It feels like the lady at the art museum is speaking directly to the reader. I liked the ending, and the lesson that everything is not what it seems. The part about the police sirens confused me, however.
Bushwah chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Jurz chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
I really, really liked this one.

What I liked: excellent use of the second person. You captured in a great way how an artist feels about his or her own art,especially the way one feels towards criticism, or when the public fails to see the point.

What i didn't like: hmmm, can't really think of anything i truly disliked. Perhaps that the way the narrator reacts to the man is a bit cheesy, but this could be intensional. And it is also something that makes sense in context, as well as a result of the second person narrative. So not really something to worry about.

What may improve it: I didn't get the ending. Sorry. You can either make its reason more evident or ignore me.

All in all, a good story.
thehobee chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
I was immediately caught by the point of view. I'd thought it was the painting speaking, at first, but after reading the whole thing through, I'm not too sure.

You write well and I can tell you put lots of thought into this. I especially enjoyed the subtle change in tone, the suddenly sinister atmosphere, also the foreshadowing. Great story!
guppylove chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
It's an interesting way to describe something visual like a painting. I actually like it.