Reviews for Not Enough |
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Swathers chapter 1 . 1/5/2012 I was surprised by the plot at the end. I totally thought she would break up with him. I found this twist refreshing and realistic. Awesome job! You really are a fabulous author and I find your writing hard to stop reading. :) |
overflowing chapter 1 . 12/31/2011 If I would describe this story with one word, it'd be relatable. I think this situation might be more common than some of us think, because the different ways romance comes in are endless. That the girl doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend because she doesn't want to hurt him when he's done so much for her is something I believe can be found for both genders. You've done a very good job with this one :) That everything is simply described and its shortness just makes it better. |
DutchAver chapter 1 . 9/23/2011 It's always bad when a relationship ends, and it's heartbreaking, but this is a worse alternative - a dead relationship somehow carrying on. The start was cute, and I really thought they were going to break up - but they weren't going to be. It's sweet that she considers his feelings so much, and that they have been together for so long, but still, it's heartbreaking that she decides to let the relationship carry on even if she doesn't love him that much anymore ( Well described, short but extremely powerful. I really like it! Keep up writing! |
berley chapter 1 . 9/23/2011 Hmm. Interesting piece. I really liked the contrast of his rough hands to his soft baby face; great imagery there. I liked the ending as well. It obviously wasn’t the best decision for her to make, that’s going to cause problems in the future, but it wasn’t really what I was expecting. It definitely got me wondering why she was unhappy, and how she could so suddenly change her mind about breaking up with him. Maybe the conversation could have been a bit longer to show the progression of her decision? So yeah, cute story! |
GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 1 . 9/19/2011 Oh wow,,, This one shot is so powerful. It really captures the feelings of not really being able to let go - as the writer, you capture that perfectly. I don't think I can say much more without being repetitive. |
Katalina Tomas chapter 1 . 8/13/2011 So sweet and so, so sad... the fact that he means more to her than her own feelings, because that's love. It was short, but I had no problem with the length - no need to ramble. You captured the emotions perfectly. I loved this! ~Kat |
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 5/16/2011 You've definitely done a great job here. I liked the beginning, and how you showed us what their relationship was like, while the narrator told us what had happened. It also made a lot of sense because I know exactly what the girl feels; unfortunately, I've been in that position before. It was a childish little thing, light blue with together forever written across the top. -Maybe put emphasis on the together forever by putting it in quotes? Great work, again. (: x mandy |
Whirlymerle chapter 1 . 5/15/2011 Loved the beginning! I thought it strongly portrayed a teenaged girl’s jumbled emotions. [she knew better than to expect it to be like a storybook romance, but somehow that's what it had ended up being.] This was cute, yet, I was uncomfortable with the way you worded it since it didn’t end up being a story book romance the moment this story was taking place. Aww, the ending was cute. Very bittersweet, but I liked it. I thought it was unexpected, so that element of surprise was pleasant. Nice job! ~Merle |
Sakina the Fallen Angel chapter 1 . 5/15/2011 Wow, you've captured the emotions of this situation really well. I liked how you kept the names of the characters absent - it makes this piece feel like it reaches out to more people, and feels more relevant to those of your readers who have been through this. The description in here was also quite poetic, and seemed to be just enough to set the scene - not too much, but not too little either. Was a pleasure to read. ~ Sakina x |
SomeRandomScribbles chapter 1 . 5/15/2011 This is a really interesting opening - you show a bit about the characters and their relationship, setting the scene well without giving too information away as to ruin the story. The first paragraph is especially good at setting the tone, and the writing style is great too - very fluent and descriptive :) Occasionally this needs a little tidying up to make it even better. It's little grammar errors and repetitions (e.g. you repeat "but somehow" twice in a row) that detract a bit from the piece. Also, I feel the change to the park is too sudden - we need a little more detail between the girl heading there and arriving there. Overall, a really good opening! Good luck with the rest of your story :) |
Drops of Jewpiter chapter 1 . 5/9/2011 a little cliche, but it def made me smile :) |