Reviews for Meet Me at the Altar
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 3 . 9/18/2011
Well it's been a while since I've read this! Read anything, really, but I digress.

"You'd think that with how often you come down here, you'd know the bouncer or something and be able to get us in faster," Nora mumbled.

-She already used 'mumbled' earlier, and 'muttered' as well, so maybe use another adjective here?

He wasn't unattractive, blonde hair, decent body, altogether passable she decided.

-I like how you've described Nora's character as well as the stranger's here together. The hidden, bored undertone Nora has is particularly endearing!

"Ohh," Aria said, remembering how that Tristan was blind.

-Remembering 'how'? I think it'd read better as, remembering 'that' Tristan was blind.

After making sure Nora was ok he eased himself off the couch and pulled a throw through on the couch over her.

-Omit 'through'.

Aww, Nora and Tristan seem so revolted at the idea of getting married! That's sad. But this wouldn't be a story without it, now would it? :D I really do like Nora. Great chapter you've got here!

x
Laoch chapter 6 . 9/15/2011
This seems to be built on a solid foundation plot wise, but is lacking in other parts. While not entirely familiar with this fic, I'll generalize myself.

There are some chunks of grammar issues smattered nearly everywhere along with faulty punctuation and some run-on phrases that switch to short, choppy ones. The story just didn't seem to flow all that well. Also, you seem to repeat yourself a lot.

For example: [ruffling his chocolate brown hair. The three-year-old grinned and tried to mess her hair up back. Nora untied her hair] You say hair three times in this little bit and when you read it, it comes out awkward and jerky. There are some other places like this.

I would suggest you find a beta for this fic, just to help with the technical stuff. But the idea of the story is good and has possibility.

~Lazer
Miryo chapter 1 . 9/15/2011
Haha, the idea of a little eight-year-old girl trying to be sexy is just too amusing. I bet her mother's going to have a fit when she sees the pictures.

You did a nice job of introducing us to Nora. You made us sympathize with her without feeling like you were throwing a pity-party. Tristan was nice too, and I liked how well he's coped with being blind, but it felt like the fact was brought up a little too often - it might just be for the reader's sake, but that's the feeling I got.

No complaints other than that. I know in your author's note you apologized for how long it was, but I was really sad that the chapter ended where it did. I was getting really into it, haha.
silverstarazor chapter 6 . 9/14/2011
I BET THE SINGLE GUY SHE'S GOING TO MEET IS THE GUY FROM THE BAR RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT? :D
Dr. Self Destruct chapter 6 . 9/14/2011
I like how we get to meet Nora's family in this chapter, because it tells us a lot about her situation, especially with how her mother keeps trying to hook her up with single guys. I can somewhat relate to her in this respect, considering I'm also 24 and not married, haha. I think her mother's reaction is pretty realistic, and I feel bad for Nora when she feels like she's being forced to fall in love.

I think this chapter does a good job in setting the scene for the next chapter, creating a hook to keep us reading when knowing there's going to be a date in the near future. I did notice this chapter was dialogue heavy, so in the future if you're ever wanting to flesh it out more, I think if you include some past interactions between Nora and her family while they're eating (maybe like mini flashbacks or nostalgic memories from comments they make to each other), it'll help give them each their own little memorable twist. Only a suggestion, though. :)

I noticed some typos:

["We're fine,[] her mom reassured her as she pulled the pot roast out of the oven, "We're nearly done in here. Your dad and Drew are in the backyard[,] you want to take a tablecloth out there and join them?"]

Edit: Missing a quotation mark in the first bracket, and I would suggest making the bracketed comma a period since the break in speech (in my head anyway) sounds like it should be a new sentence.

["Nor, I've known your midget butt since you were [17].]

Style: I'd recommend spelling out the number '17'. From what I've heard, in prose it's usually a good practice to spell out anything under 100.

[too focused on getting Seth to swallow a spoonful potatoes.]

Edit: Missing an 'of' between 'spoonful' and 'potatoes'.

[Jillian said, "You know she does it out of love.[]]

Edit: Missing a quotation at the end of the sentence.
noriepie chapter 6 . 9/14/2011
can't wait for this story to start moving :)
silverstarazor chapter 5 . 8/28/2011
Write more! Finish it!
CCKins chapter 5 . 8/25/2011
Nora and Liam form a friendship? Or maybe something more? I still agree on Nora and Tristian though!

It's interesting reading about Nora's work. Glad you write about it a lot. Great chapter, like always. Keep up the good work!
CCKins chapter 3 . 8/25/2011
Sorry I haven't reviewed for a while! Completely my fault, laziness and all...

I kinda suspected more intimacy from Nora and Tristan. I was disappointed when they thought of marrying each other was disgusting... Oh well. It's a romance story. That won't stop the two getting together!

Well done on the chapter!
rgarner31 chapter 5 . 8/19/2011
hmm i still love the story and what not, but this chapter doesn't seem to have featured very much plot detail. But, ya never know right? Your the author, only you know whats important and what isnt :)

I did like the quip about her becoming a totally different person behind the camera. I think its something we all do when we start busying ourselves with something were passionate about. When i sit down to write my A/N for chapters of Courting Survival, i feel like a completely different person talking to my readers even though im just typing words on a computer screen. kinda like now, lol :P But yeah, the personality you see in the A/N is unfortunately not always the one i have in regular life. Such is the way of the human mind, i suppose :P Just like those snickers commercials that say, "your not you when your hungry" ahaha.

Ok, tangent sorry!

Im glad that what i picked up between Nora and Liam is coming to light-not necessarily an attraction, though im hoping for that, but just the air that both is curious about the other, intrigued by them if you will.

Ugh, i think i may be harboring a rather strong ill will against bridezilla here. Whenever she says something i roll my eyes...ah well, she reminds me of my sister, what can i say :P

A nice though somewhat disappointingly short chapter! (and yes, please do take that as a compliment! Love the story so far and wish there was more of it! :))
rgarner31 chapter 4 . 8/18/2011
interesting the little monologue nora had at the end of the chapter. you seem to be playing up this liam character and im intrigued to see if thats just to contrast him and his fiance, or if the engagement will fall apart and he may become of interest to Nora...the couple seems like its more than just throw away characters.

I was a little surprised that Tristan didnt question nora about what she said, about marriage. if he knew she didnt plan or even want it, why would he just accept the fact that she had changed her mind. and wouldnt she remember something about saying that? I mean ive never gotten drunk before, but i cant imagine youde just black out. but then, im 14 and innocent in the ways of adults :P
Guest chapter 3 . 8/18/2011
lol, i can totally imagine seeing nora there at the club, super drunk giving the death glares to guys. Oh, i almost fell over laughing that was funny! Sorry i think its the drugs for my surgery talking, time to get to the review:

hmmm this was another good chapter. I really enjoyed the club scene, and seeing her drunk was really funny/ interesting. I liked that in the slews of drunkenness she revealed that she really *does* want a relationship because we all know the deep dark secrets come out when the booze does. Though the only thing is that it directly conflicts with what you said before: you told the reader she didnt want love, or marriage, or relationships. Maybe thats just what her conscious mind thought, and her sub-conscious- ya know that creepy scary and horribly honest thing that comes out with the booze- actually wants it. Hmm, interesting.
rgarner31 chapter 2 . 8/18/2011
hmmm it seems she has a nack for tying her hair into those knots. that REALLY tells me shes wound up tight! Also at the end with the no dating for three months thing, that too clued me off a bit.

I noticed a few typos here and there; nothing that made me cringe or wave the white flag of defeat and leave, but its always nice to read something without any of those. i know im one to talk right, but hey im workin on it! haha :)

so i can definitely see a barney stinson similarity with triston here, and i soooo love it. Hes not (seeming to be) nearly as much of a player as barney from how i met your mother, but still the hilarity and awesomeness levels are somewhere near equal :)

I like that through the dialogue you show just how well these two know each other, because of the way he talks about the cider, and then about how her profession affects her love life. That told me better than words could have that they know like everything about each other

good new chapter!
rgarner31 chapter 1 . 8/17/2011
ha! so i totally love the opening paragraph, what with the little girl and the trying-to-be-sexy face. that instantly put a smile on my face and made me laugh, even though i wasn't really sure why its important. I would mention though that for an opening *line*, maybe try something a little stronger? maybe like "cakes of makeup, expensive bomber jacket on her shoulders, and a brand new itouch in her hand. The girl couldnt have been even eight yet. But even so, there she was..." and then lead in. Idk, i can totally imagine this girl as one of those "toddlers in tiaras" girls a few years down the road. Horrible show, but still funny...

Anyways, onto the substance part of the review!

I like that next paragraph as well: it tells us a tiny bit about her personality-that shes kinda individual, not liking the totally meshed together, go with the flow types. I also like that we already know that she may not be financially stable without being told straight down-shes down right broke, through the narrative.

(im just commenting as i read, so bare with me on this)

hmmm, i like the idea of a photographer being good friends with someone whose blind. She utilizes her eyes for her work, and he has learned to live without them. interesting contrast.

So this comment is for the rest of the chapter. I really enjoyed everything about this. You managed to capture the bride's hurried-ness and what not really quickly and before you had to actaully tell us she was a bridezilla, we were already thinking it. I feel sorry for this girl because of how much shes got on her plate at the moment. It seems pretty hectic! I loved the personality of the blind friend, though im finding i dont recall his name. Maybe slip it into the conversations a little more? idk, i have a pretty bad memory so ive been told, so dont take my word for it :) nice chapter and it seems to be setting things up for the future!
Luridpretty chapter 5 . 8/10/2011
Oooh, I wonder what's going on with Mr. Simmons. Is it silly that my gay-dar is going off? xD Haha. Anyway, I enjoy the way you build up a sense of mystery at the end of this chapter, it really pulls the reader in. I also like Nora's character, because she sticks with what she enjoys doing (taking photos) regardless of what her mother says. However, you made some grammatical errors. For instance, I think there should be a comma after the "hello" in "Hello Mrs. Saunders?", and there is no punctuation at the end of "Afternoon Mr. Simmons", even though there should be. Great job overall, though :)
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