Reviews for Meet Me at the Altar
ShortcakeMattie chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
I really like how you handled explaining the world and work of a photographer. I took a photography class a few years ago so I knew a little bit of the subject; but you make things clear to the readers which is nice. Also the summary sounded sweet. I'm a sucker for romance.

I didn't think the chapter was too long or boring. You do NaNoWriMo too? That's cool! Did you win?

I like the relationship between Nora and Tristan. He reminds me of a good friend of mine, which also I think helps me like him more.

"Which one do you want me to answer first?" Tristan laughed, "Vacation with mom, dad, and Sophie was nice, but it's definitely nice to be home. Jordan came by to visit and told me you were taking yearbook pictures, so I just told him to drop me off here. I figured you'd need a little pick me up after that."

Edit: "Vacation with Mom, Dad, and Sophie was nice..."

"I think a few posed pictures would be nice, but I especially like the look of candid pictures. They better capture the event."

Edit: I think "They capture the event better." sounds better. ;)
WoodpeckerWho chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
There seemed to be a bit of a very minor contraction in description, well for me anyway. At the start, Nora is described as having honey coloured eyes, then later, dull brown. It's not major, like I earlier said, but somehow, honey colour isn't a dull one to me.

I did like how well developed the characters are, already in the first chapter. Both Tristan and Nora are extremely believable; so I'm able to picture them both easily. Their friendship is also very realistic, and I enjoyed the banter between them about Emma. I really warmed to both of them, especially Tristan and his fun-loving personality. I also liked how his blindness isn't said straight out at first, but rather is just littered through hints. The opening hooked me though; it's humour did make me smile .

- Woody.
Lucreace chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
Hi there,

I liked this story, the character Nora is well developed, she has a good relationship with her blind companion Triston and this comes across well in the scene where she winds him up about his 'ugly' date. She also worries about money and it appears that she doesn't have a perfect life. Good balance.

The only bit that jarred a little was a couple of repititions in the same sentance, this is a minor thing though and with another edit can be easily rectified. I also think Tristan's cane needs to be made clear right from the start. I am unsure whether he would lean a hand on her shoulder if he had a cane and it's not that clear.

Other than that it was a good read.


xxcjowaf chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
The second chapter has a faster pace, but I didn't like it as much. The conversation between Nora and Tristan was wonderful, I loved the atmosphere of Nora's place and Tristan's personality. But.

But the ending to this chapter seemed contrived. As if this was a cheesy kids cartoon special episode that was divided into two parts, and at the end of the first part, "When Nora had said..." in a cheesy kids cartoon narrator voice.

I can't quite put my finger on what makes it seem like that, but it definitely has to do with the "When Nora had SAID she wanted a distraction". She said no such thing. She didn't even consciously think it. She just wanted a distraction. I'm not a big fan of the "not what she had in mind" either, as its used in a lot of stories and it immediately ups the cheese factor.

Try something more along the lines of "This wasn't the kind of distraction she wanted.", (more eloquently of course).

Anyways, hope that made sense.

So overall, great chapter, but that one sentence at the very end was totally contradictory to your earlier style and undid every good thing that you did.

Still, well done.
xxcjowaf chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
I liked it. The flow was a little slow, but it's alright because it was steady. You brought up a lot of questions about who Tristan is, his relationship with Nora, and I am so glad you did not immediately answer them. Despite the chapter being long, you didn't bore us with too many details, instead implying what might have gone on.

Overall, a great first chapter.

Well done.
Whirlymerle chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
Poor Nora, for not being able to pay the bills!

Aww, the Nora Tristan scenes are so cute. :)

[we'll attempt to find you something nice to wear in that closet of yours] I’m surprised that Tristan is saying this. How can he tell what’s nice to wear if he’s blind?

I thought you could have gone into a little more detail about why Nora decided to go clubbing with Tristan, especially if she was so reluctant to being with.

I definitely like Tristan more, for his good humor. I imagine that he is very fun to write.

Nice job!

Shero chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
Poor Nora! I would hate to be dragged out clubbing when there's a pan full of lasagna to be dealt with! I'm glad she's not out desperately hunting for a partner, though. She's got patience. Or she's just incredibly busy ;)

Not so fond of Tristan, though, personally. But I always seem to have trouble liking male characters.
Shero chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
I really like it so far! The first chapter was good, and the only reason it's a little slow is because you need to set the groundwork for the next stage of the story. Great job, and I think I'll read chapter 2 later, when I have a moment!
Boy at War chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
Sometimes I totally forget that Tristan is blind, and then I wonder why he would stress physical appearances so much. But I guess with all the sighted people trying to stick blind people with unattractives I guess I can see why.

I wish that you had added a bit more space between the time Nora took to get dressed and where she left. I think you could have added all sorts of things there. Such as Nora being a neat freak and havingher closet super clean and she relished unravelling it, or she could clench her clothes apprehensively because she was nervous about going back onto the social scene, she might even chose something flashy because she wants to attract someone, I think you could have done a lot more in that area.

I do like the dialogue it was a fair balance of filler and plot movement, but I think you just need to work on showing instead of teeling a bit more.
wisedec4u chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
For RP Easy Fix - Rule 10

I thought this was very well written. I found the character Tristan the most intriguing. I love his positive attitude and self confidence in spite of his disability. I could see him as a potential love interest for Nora. As you pointed out, this chapter was pretty slow to start. At this point I'm not sure what direction your story is taking. Is it a romance, chick-flick, drama, comedy? This chapter pretty much seemed like a day in the life of Nora and nothing really significant took place. No big changes in her life, no drama, no love interest, no questions to leave the reader asking what will happen next. I'm afraid that if you don't add something in the first chapter you may lose a reader's interest quickly. I was always told a chapter should usually end with a question or cliffy that will make the reader want to turn to page. Hope this helps.
Souffle Girl chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
I think Tristan is definitely my favorite character so far, haha, even though Nora is the main character. :P I mean, I like Nora too, and I look forward to seeing her other, less professional side while clubbing, but Tristan is just so darn loveable! And his relationship with Nora is funny and sweet. :) They interact really nicely together!

Once again, your dialogue writing skills are fantastic. Everything sounded credible. I don't know how you do it, I hate writing dialogue! Haha.

And, finally, I enjoyed this chapter even more than the first one. You got rid of the issue of it dragging, and the writing felt less lackluster. So, great job! I really liked it. :) You have me subscribing to story alert.
Dr. Self Destruct chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
It's good to see Tristan still has his spunk. I have to agree with you that he's probably my favorite character, but I always tend to lean toward the more comical/sarcastic people in a story. He is indeed interesting. I don't want to make any assumptions, but I find it enjoyable that he's able to go out and hook-up, regardless if he's blind. I can imagine what kind of hurdle that would be.

Heh, I like how he judges what his date eats. If you think about it, food can really tell you a lot about a person. So can seeing how many dates it takes to get them bed.

Uh oh, a night of clubbing, huh? I can picture Nora being just as uncomfortable as I would be in such a situation. I can really relate to her... although fortunately, I have a boy friend and don't have to worry about the pangs of loneliness. I do enjoy how she doesn't fret about a love-life, though. I respect her decision on not going out and searching for it, but rather allowing it to come to her. It shows she's strong.

Great chapter, can't wait to see more. )
Souffle Girl chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
Great first chapter! I already love Tristan and Nora, so I can't wait to read more about them. :D You do a great job of bringing in the characters in a nice natural way, but still getting the reader to understand a bit about who they are.

As far as first chapters go though, it wasn't very attention grabbing, and it was a little slow. I know that most first chapters are, but this was just a little lackluster. Maybe you want to have more emotions in your writing? This chapter was more just a catalog of her actions, if that makes sense.

Also, your dialogue. I'd just like you to know that you write amazing dialogue! It flows perfectly, and really reads like an actual conversation. :)
Boy at War chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
One thing I noticed was that you didn't put any description of who Tristan is and how he affects the story, it would have sufficed to simply have added who he is to Nora.

I didn't think that it was so much a long piece, but that it was a drop in. I don't really get any fore warning as to what's happening beforehand. Although your opening tells us something about who Nora is I still would like to have a basic understanding of the setting.

I think you did a very good job with the middle and ending parts though, although the ending was a little lack luster for me I think it would be fine. I especially liked the work you did with Tristan, I got this sort of character theme from Tristan that being blind made him numb in his senses and also made him lust for more variety to compensate for the ability to see the world around him.

I liked this~
Superslow Jellyfish chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
Me again. Your first chapter was really intriguing. I wanted to keep reading more, and it's safe to say you're going to finish this.

-""And she came over and was told me to"-Get rid of "was". Other than that, I didn't spot any other glaring errors.

Anyways, I spent so much time in my last review talking about Nora as a main character and mostly on the technicalities of this work that I ignored Tristan! Their relationship as childhood friends was solidified in the last chapter, but I think this chapter showed a somewhat different side. It takes REALLY close friends to just casually state he had sex on the first date. Nora doesn't sound like the discriminating type, either, since Tristan's blind. His blindness is pretty unique to the story, since you don't read much about it, and thankfully, it wasn't played to dramatic lengths, since Tristan's such a positive character. Yeah, I'm liking him, too.

"Nora sighed, not sure how to respond to that. She wasn't someone who wanted to spend the rest of her life by herself, but then again, didn't know how much she wanted to go through the whole finding a guy process either."-So is this lampshading I spot here on your part? Good thing she's placed in a romance story!
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