|Reviews for Meet Me at the Altar|
| Michodell chapter 6 . 4/5/2012
["You know, as my brother-in-law, you should be trying not to step on any toes, not teasing me every chance you get."] I think that this would sound more natural/ smoother if it said "you should probably not tease me every chance you get.
Overall, I like this chapter. Your story hasn't been a whole lot of action, plot development, and all this but it's enjoyable nonetheless. A lot of contemporary romances (from what I've seen) don't have a terribly thick plot, but we read it because we get to live vicariously through the character in her search for finding love.
And that's what I see in this. I really enjoy it :)
| Vivace.Assai chapter 8 . 4/2/2012
Ah, I really like how the plot is starting to progress now. I'm very excited to see what will happen next. I hope you update soon! Also, sorry it took so long for me to get through these eight chapters. I actually have a rather poor memory... resulting in me forgetting and remembering to read the story a few minutes before I started packing up for the week on Sunday...
But continuing on, character development continues to be nicely done. Your character development is slow and steady; it builds up gradually resulting in a more natural understanding of all the characters. That's really nice, since I prefer the more subtle characterization - it certainly is more realistic.
Dialogue is also nicely written. The dialogue flows really well in my mind, and there is a realistic quality to it. It makes me easily envision the characters actually saying these things.
Some of your little details are slightly extraneous. Saying [relatively attractive] doesn't really give much to the story, and though some narrators might be vague about descriptions, Nora seems like the character who - when she describes something - is pretty detailed but to the point.
Overall, nice chapter! I really enjoyed it.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 7 . 4/2/2012
Nicely written chapter.
The switch between Nora and Liam POV was definitely unexpected. I'm not entirely sure where Liam is as a character in this story - is he a main character or a minor character? I always thought he was minor until now. Thus, my uncertainty with Liam made the shift seem unexpected. But then again, this is FictionPress, and you have a right to experiment to see what will work and what will not work.
I am curious about Liam's role in the story now. Is he a love interest for Nora? Is he a significant character? Since I always thought the love interest would be Tristan, since Tristan had such a big highlight in earlier chapters. I'm curious to see what you'll do with Liam, but I presume he is important since he gets his own little chapter.
The characterization of Liam was well-done by the way. I like that I'm starting to see what is wrong with his relationship and the doubts he has.
I don't know why but I find your little descriptions about wedding cakes and everything kind of interesting. I understand that some people might find it boring, but I enjoy reading it. It adds another aspect to this story. You could cut some of it, but I feel the descriptions add to the story.
Overall, I liked this chapter. Thanks for the great read!
| Vivace.Assai chapter 6 . 4/2/2012
This was another nicely-written chapter.
You are correct in saying there is little plot development, though once again, the shortness of the chapter and the character development in it made this chapter not entirely unimportant to the story as a whole. Seeing Nora's family gave me a better sense of where Nora comes from and what is expected of her. Clearly, marriage is one of the big topics... The depiction of Nora's mother's desire for Nora's marriage is realistic, though - this happens so much that it is easy to relate with. Also, Nora's stubborn character towards taking her time finding love also establishes another part of her character. Either way, seeing her with her family really establishes more of her character. It also sets some family dynamics that seem interesting - I hope her family plays a larger role in the future, since they are an interesting set of characters.
Overall, nice chapter. I'm excited to see the next chapter, since the pace will hopefully quicken.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 5 . 4/2/2012
This was a nice chapter. I felt the chapter worked really well with characterizing Nora. We've gotten a sense that she is practical but also rather more into staying home than partying. But this chapter really showed a whole other side of Nora - her photographer side. Clearly, she is in love with her profession and it's a part of her, explaining how she doesn't like to share photos. Furthermore, she seems to believe she can read people, though this assumption is now starting to be proved false with Mr. Simmons. Though not much happened in lieu of plot (except some hints of Mr. Simmons and Ms. Saunders relationship), the character development made this chapter a very interesting read.
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. Thanks for the great read!
| Michodell chapter 5 . 3/27/2012
Another great chapter! I can't wait to see what unfolds between Mr. Simmons and Nora. If anything at all.
One thing... This sentence was a bit hard to read so maybe a reorganization of words would help [I was calling you to remind going to visit the church ]
On to the next chapter :)
| Michodell chapter 4 . 3/26/2012
I still really enjoy this story. Tristan and Nora are so entertaining together.
The only bit of CC I can give is to maybe include more of Tristan's disability. At some points you can almost forget that he's blind because he does everything so easily, navigating through the house and knowing what Nora is doing.
Other than that, love it!
| Vivace.Assai chapter 4 . 3/26/2012
Nice chapter. Nothing really happened in it for me to comment on. The plot progression is nice, especially with the return of the couple Nora is taking pictures for (and some development of the relationship between the couple). I'm interested in seeing when the story gets to the summary, though of course, I understand development is important.
It was interesting to learn about Nora's sixth sense with relationships. It gave another interesting aspect to Nora that I never really thought of before. Also seeing more of Tristan's and Nora's interaction was good in building up a better sense of their friendship.
Here's a quick technical note that I saw with this chapter:
[She remembered feeling irritated at that guy who hit on her, she couldn't even remember his name although she was pretty sure he had introduced himself to her.] This is a run-on sentence. A period or conjunction would easily fix the problem.
Overall the chapter was nice. I admit it really isn't my favorite. Not much happened, and there wasn't enough of the character development (like in the last three chapters) to make the chapter pretty interesting. I'm not really sure where this plot is heading (except for that hint with the summary). However, the plot seems very interesting, and your writing is great so this story definitely has a lot of potential.
Thanks for the great read!
| Vivace.Assai chapter 3 . 3/23/2012
Nice chapter. The events in the chapter were pretty fun and interesting. The way you portrayed Nora drunk was great - it was hilarious - but I also liked how you considered the various obstacles Tristan would have due to her being drunk. That attention to detail and the characters was just great.
Your descriptions of the music and the atmosphere in the club was nicely done. I don't really know much about it, but going off of what I usually see in the movies (yeah, I know... not the best resource), it fits my perception. But also, the descriptions worked with all the different senses and this gave a much better experience for the readers to understand what the scene was like. So overall, you set up the scene very nicely.
Nora's character is definitely interesting. I like her response to Nick - she definitely has some standards that she sets for herself. But I was surprised by her sudden announcement that she wanted to get married. I guess her being drunk makes her say peculiar things out of the blue? But I just felt there was not enough development with her wanting to getting married in the earlier chapters, and so, this sudden announcement felt abrupt and slightly out of place. I do admit that this announcement definitely sets the plot up well for future chapters (and what I think the plot will be from your summary). So I'm now curious in seeing how this plot will progress.
So far there's been great character set-up. I've gotten a good sense of Tristan and Nora from these last three chapters. I'm not yet sure where the plot is going, but that is understandable. Some plots take some time to completely flesh out, especially when it's not your exact final draft. I am interested in seeing how this current plot will merge with the summary though.
Overall, this chapter was very nicely done. I enjoyed it. The writing was nicely done along with the dialogue and narrative voice.
Thanks for the great read!
| Michodell chapter 3 . 3/21/2012
LOL she got drunk haha.
And that was so sweet! Ugh I want Tristan and Nora to get together now ;)
| Michodell chapter 2 . 3/21/2012
I really enjoy your writing style and I am just loving Tristan and Nora. They crack me up!
The one little thing I would change is..
[who was over at her place almost as often as he was at his.] I would have said, ...often as she was. To me, that not only conveys that he's at her house a lot, but that they spend almost all of their time together.
Can't wait to read more!
| Michodell chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
I really like this story so far.
Tristan makes me laugh and Nora is pretty spunky, which I like.
My only criticism/ bit of confusion was the cane Tristan used to walk over to her in the beginning of the chapter. I know that she heard wood tapping on the floor, but I think actually stating that he was using a cane would help with the imagery.
There were also a few inconsistencies with singular/ plural and missing words such as 'this' 'that' etc. But you said that you're rewriting this so I'm sure that once you read over it you'll catch those little mistakes :)
Can't wait to see what happens next.
| Crosier chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Very good! The characters are believable (although I have never met a blind playboy like Tristan, but there's a first time for everything) and I sympathize with Nora immensely. God knows how hard it is to start an independent business. I'll be sure to read the other chapters too!
On the technical side, I have no real criticism on the grammar, writing style or spelling. It's pleasant to read, detailed and yet concise. One thing though; the following sentence needs to be finished (someone else probably pointed this out already but I didn't read the reviews): "His fingers stopped flipping pages when he reached a photo of a piggybacking on the groom"
Just a missing word and no period to mark the end of the sentence. And if I had to be REALLY nitpicky, you sometimes combine a stage direction with a spoken sentence, using a comma where it might not be entirely warranted. Such as here: Tristan shrugged it off nonchalantly, "What can I say? I'm just that good."
I get that he says that while shrugging, so you could consider it one action, but it looks slightly out of place to me. But don't worry about that! It's hardly even worth mentioning.
I thank you for the pleasant read and wish you the best of luck with this story.
| witch22 chapter 8 . 3/18/2012
Brooke really need to chill a little.
I liked Nora's photograph sessions.
Again keep up the good work.
| witch22 chapter 7 . 3/18/2012
Poor Liam, he is so confused. I too like chocolate flavored cake.
Again nice chapter.