|Reviews for Meet Me at the Altar|
| witch22 chapter 4 . 3/18/2012
Now I can see some romance coming into Nora's life.
I too love coffee with lots of cream and sugar.
chapter done nicely.
| witch22 chapter 3 . 3/18/2012
I am enjoying this story so far.
keep up the good work.
| witch22 chapter 2 . 3/18/2012
I want lasagna right now. You got me hungry. Now my stomach is rumbling so I can't exactly say much than this chapter was awesome.
| witch22 chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
I remember coming across this story some months ago. But I lost it. I was anonymous back then. It had me hooked then. I love Tristan character.
Now that I get it I am going to read the next chapter.
*story added to alert list*
| Vivace.Assai chapter 2 . 3/18/2012
Nice chapter. I enjoyed the dynamic between Nora and Tristan. The two's friendship is the perfect friendship - they do argue and they have different opinions about life as a whole. However, they are close friends and always willing to help one another - even when the other doesn't want that much help. The way you portrayed this friendship was nicely done, and it was wonderfully reflected through the conversations that the two had. The conversations were nicely written and flowed in a natural manner.
[Nora kicked her legs up slightly to keep the swing in motion. She glanced over at Tristan who was swinging back and forth with a grin plastered on his face.] This introduction was nicely done. I liked how you described the gait of Nora and Tristan as they walked. It gave a nice image.
[She very much preferred ignore her worries and problems to actually facing them.] I think the "ignore" should be "ignoring" or "to ignore." But that is just a small technical error - nothing to worry too much about.
This was a great read, however, and I perfectly enjoyed this chapter.
Thanks so much for the great read!
| Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Nice first chapter. I enjoyed how this first chapter already gave some nice characterization of Nora. It becomes clear that she is a character suffering difficulties with her life, but she has perseverance. This set-up is definitely helpful for later chapters, since it provides a nice place to start and later develop.
The plot also seems to be interesting. I always have a soft spot for stories that center on weddings, and the photography aspect of weddings is a rather forgotten but integral part. So, I like how you've decided to take this path with the story - to focus on the photographer rather than the bridal party.
One critique is that there could have been more pause between certain pieces of dialogue. I liked how there were actions between the dialogues, but sometimes one piece of dialogue would be pretty long.
["So what was it like? I wish I could have gone with you. It's been a while since I've had break from work. I guess a month's a long time though huh?" Nora smiled wryly.] It just didn't seem as natural since there didn't seem to be a natural break or pause.
Beyond that though, I enjoyed this first chapter. I can't wait to read more. I'll start on the second chapter ASAP!
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
Perhaps it's just because this is outside of my usual genres, but this felt a bit slow for a first chapter. It never really felt like it built to anything and the action was just everyday little tasks. Granted I usually read action-heavy supe, fantasy, etc., but there was no hook for me. Maybe add a little bit of mystery to bring readers to ch.2.
One thing I noticed so far is that the dialogue sometimes feels stilted. It's all very formal which makes it feel rather unnatural when she's talking casually with Tristan. For instance: "I was going to stop by your apartment after I finished this job. How does it feel like to be back home after a whole months? Wait, how did you get here?" This stood out to me because it's all one big rush of words without pause. I know Nora says she talks a lot, but in most conversations, there'd probably be a pause before the 'wait'. Like she's curious about all the stuff he's been up to, but then pauses as she realizes 'wait, how did he even get here?'. I'm perhaps a little biased because I don't particularly like long stretches of dialogue without action, but it just doesn't feel natural to me. If you think of your everyday conversations, people don't just stand there talking for long periods of time. They're moving and making facial expressions, maybe gesturing. You don't have to include all that in your writing, but something to add movement to the scene is always appreciated.
| this wild abyss chapter 3 . 3/16/2012
So far you've spent a lot of time writing about day-to-day activities between Tristan and Nora, which is fine, except I'm not getting much sense of a plot. If there's not plot, there's not much purpose to the storyline. Generally speaking, that is—some writers can make no plot work very well for them.
Another thing I wasn't a huge fan of was Nora's attitude toward the end. How she just felt like getting married or whatever. It sort of leads to the attitude that "a man will solve all of my problems." In my opinion, that's just all wrong, and as a reader, I was extremely turned off by Nora's mentality there.
| this wild abyss chapter 2 . 3/16/2012
I like the easy relationship you show between Nora and Tristan. It's very believable and sweet.
I would have liked there to be a little more action in this chapter. You had great dialogue, but I feel like some exposition would have balanced things out a bit more.
| IfWeWereInLove chapter 1 . 3/14/2012
Off to drop a review for a story that has been added to my FP reading list after my exams get over (:
Anyway, I loved the amount of detail and description in each of you sentences. You really know how to make your readers connect with the protagonist, Nora. The photography aspect of the story just makes it more unique. Several writers have a hard time describing the job that their characters do but you are able to bring in every aspect of Nora's life, work, friends, family [although that hasn't been throughly mentioned yet].Tristan seems absolutely amazing and quirky. I'm glad he's the best friend figure, I couldn't have pictured anyone more perfect (:
I've seen some grammatical mistakes here and there, but they're very minor. Nothing to worry about! Also, sometimes you have your characters call upon another character before introducing them and it confuses the reader. Like here,
She glanced over to see what photo LIAM was looking at and she huffed. "Liam I love you, but you can't honestly think you can pick me up that easily. Plus my dress would get all wrinkled. We'll take the first package,"
But the protagonist hasn't introduced the character, nor has there been a dialogue between the the two characters. It's just like all of sudden there's this guy named Liam. At that time, you should change it to
She glanced over to see what photo HER HUSBAND was looking at and she huffed.
Get my point?
Anyways, I love this story so much already. I can't wait to read more from you!
| Whirlymerle chapter 3 . 3/13/2012
I like reading about Tristan and Nora's interactions. I think you do well in showing without explicitly saying how comfortable they are with each other. Their friendship is very cute and fuss free, so it's fun to see them together (though not romantically).
I'm not sure about Aria as a character. I feel she doesn't know Tristan that well with forgetting Tristan's blind and all. So I don't know why she'd ruin a night of fun dancing at the club by helping out Nora, who as far as Aria knows, might even be a competing love interest. I think you might want to develop her more, because her actions are a little confusing.
| Saeyre chapter 8 . 3/13/2012
Nora sounds a little judgmental during the photoshoot with Liam and Brooke. Who's to say that Liam isn't just terrible in front of a camera, or when he has hug or smile artificially? Not sure she should be saying stuff like how their hug "just didn't look very natural" or "I('m) just not able to capture the chemistry between you two." A photographer should probably blame the pose or the setting before she blames the subject, and continue to be positive encouraging when things don't look good instead of pointing out that they don't look good. You know?
Also, shouldn't it be kinda obvious, even to Nora the fixer-type, that her spending time alone with Liam is going to make Brooke more upset?
Anyway, those are undoubtedly character foibles on Nora's part. But you can just see disastrous meddling approaching, another rom-com staple that I'm not too fond of. Be careful of playing on that too strongly. It would be interesting if that trope were subverted somehow, aside from the usual female-protagonist-makes-things-worse-with-meddling-and-then-miraculously-solves-everything-somehow.
On the other hand, I liked the backstory given to Liam, and the way his parents' marriage has eroded his faith in his own engagement. And again, the description and language is great. I hope the dislikes aren't too much, because this story is really very well-written.
| Embarrassed chapter 2 . 3/12/2012
[Thank god] I'm fairly certain God is capitalized
I liked the chapter in terms of development of the dynamic between Nora and Tristan. You also did a good job using Tristan's story to further develop Nora's character based on her reactions.
My one thing...Tristan seemed like he had been clubbing a lot. It just seems a little odd to me considering he's blind. I mean, I'm sure blind people have gone to clubs before, it just seems like a crowded room with blaring music and people bumping around wouldn't be an ideal location for someone blind.
But anyway, I look forward to reading more :) Nice chapter!
| lookingwest chapter 7 . 3/11/2012
I didn't like that the chapter kind of bored me because there just wasn't a ton of action and the biggest conversation piece in my opinion was cake and various foods. I did like your dialogue work though because it's realistic and it does create a good amount of pacing. The end was interesting and I also perked up a bit at that but then again the wedding theme etc., it also isn't my forte, so take my opinions with a grain of salt too. Also though, good solid setting/character descriptions too, by the way, liked the characterizations through that dialogue too because it fleshed out the feelings about the wedding. :)
| Saeyre chapter 7 . 3/11/2012
I love the way you describe things, even if it's only ordinary activities like waking up and eating cake. You make the characters' actions easy to envision. On the other hand, there can be too much of a good thing, like all the detail about the cake-tasting. It seems as though you spend more time talking about the flavors of cake than about the ensuing small argument between Brooke and Liam - which is glossed over at the end of the scene.
There's one gripe I have about their relationship as presented so far, and that's...communication. Why don't they talk to each other about what they're feeling? But Liam talks to Josh instead of Brooke, and that makes it slightly harder to empathize with him. Come to think of it, though, I have this gripe with practically every rom-com or romantic novel out there. Most characters could do with a little more honest communication!