Your description is incredible, and that's why my eyes clung to the chapter with excitement. I also liked the name Aline, because of its unique spelling.

The way you changed the dialogue to fit in with the time period and the situation was quite interesting, and comfortable, another reason for my liking.

Keep writing, and I hope to see more from you.

Sorry it took me so long to get to this chapter. I have been busy with school and things, but anyways, I liked the chapter.

I kinda felt bad that Aline still tripped with them, but at least the man give her a choice. She doesn't have to be tied up anymore, but still, it still suck, but I guess this is all part of the story lol.

But at least the other guy died...so one thing was good...haha :)

The first few sentences are VERY long; without even a comma breaking them up, they're a bit of a mouthful. I would suggest adding some punctuation there, and maybe adding in some shorter sentences to offset all the long ones.

Your heroine seems interesting. I like that she seems strong and is taking the male role in her family, but is still clearly feminine and ladylike. I get really sick of seeing ultra-tomboyish heroines who reject all things girly... it gets old after a while, and isn't realistic to the time period. Your protagonist, on the other hand, seems like a unique mix of traits.

I like your descriptions of the various characters. The descriptions are effective without getting too wordy and interrupting the flow of the narration.

Oh wow, did NOT see that twist coming! o: This is really well written. I love that most of the chapter is so languid and cheerful in mood, and then all of a sudden it takes a very dark twist. Dickon suddenly became so chilling and sketchy and eek. But at least Aline was saved before it was too late.

"She did not relish the thought of a loveless, political had seen sympathetic glances in her direction more than once and sometimes" - You kind of broke off mid-sentence here and went into something else.

Well, I'm hooked. I definitely intend to read more of this very soon. You have a very interesting writing style, and it seems like an intriguing story!

I liked that you gave us more about your characters in this chapter. It's interesting to see how they interact-small exchanges like the horseback ride that don't really serve to advance the plot do wonders to show us what the characters are really like. I suppose my main suggestion to you is to do more of that kind of thing. I still don't have as clear a grasp as I would like of who Aline really is as a person. What makes her different from other well-born heroines? What did she want out of life before she was kidnapped? Why doesn't she think more about what might be going on at home? Does she miss anyone, or does she have no close friends? She obviously loves riding, and loves going out with very little company-so does she feel secretly stifled by her high-born role? Showing us more of her interior life, her hopes, dreams, and fears, will help us like Aline even more.

What a beautiful, heartbreaking story!

Nice chapter. Your description and dialogue was pretty balanced and that was great. I didn't feel there was too much or too little of either.

I'm still having trouble deciding if I like or dislike her kidnappers. They treat her pretty good, which is strange since they kidnapped her! I suppose it just adds to the mystery. I am inclined to hope that it is because deep down they are actually really nice guys putting on a rouse or something.

I find it strange that the captain of the guard is threatening her at the beginning of the chapter and then telling her she will come to no harm at the end. I can't help but thinking he has some sort of multiple personality disorder.

The writing is still smooth and flowing nicely. I do wish there was more description though. You have lots of dialogue and explain what the characters are doing, but you haven't given much information regarding the surroundings.

From the extent to which Aline is attracted to Hugh, even though he is her captor, my guess is that he is going to be your romantic lead. That's certainly fine; I think you've got a really interesting dynamic going there. However, I think that your story would benefit if you scaled back a bit on how much there is already a rapport between them. Especially since Aline was just almost raped, I find it hard to believe that she would even notice how handsome Hugh is. If she hates him more now, her gradual warming to him as she sees his good qualities will be the sweeter. (Of course, this is all assuming that he will, in fact, be the romantic lead; if he's not, ignore all this.)

The other main thing I wanted to bring up was that moment when you slip into Hugh's point of view, and he thinks about why he really killed the groom. It was a bit jarring, because up until that point you had only written from Aline's point of view, and we had only been able to overhear her thoughts. I think it would be stronger if you didn't let us see Hugh's thoughts at all until you could give us a whole chapter from his point of view. As it is, the few sentences we see don't seem to fit.

Three things about this chapter. First, it was a bit jarring to hear Aline call the eighteen-year-old "boy"-isn't she only one or two years older herself? Didn't you say in the first chapter that she hadn't turned 21 yet? It seemed to me as though she would have thought of him as at least a young man.

Second, again, I would have liked to have more details come to light through dialogue and action. You give us sketchy descriptions of the three men, but you could give them a lot more personality if you let us hear how they talk to each other, not just to Aline. What is the boy like, other than kind and young? What is the older man with the crossbow like? How, more specifically, do they react when the man in black returns Aline to them? The man in black seems to be very cruel-so why don't they seem to be more afraid of him?

Third, I was confused as to why Aline was so panicked when she saw the man in black for the second time. I would have thought that she would be more grateful to someone who had rescued her from rape-especially because she has no idea where his men were taking her. They don't really seem to treat her as a captive-in fact, how does she know that they're not just taking her back home?

In books, characters thoughts are usually put in italics, not parenthesis. It makes it look better and flows a lot smoother.

I like how she fought back instead of just standing frightened. Especially how she tried using the branch as a weapon. It was a good way to show that she is tough and not just a whimpering female.

Another great chapter!

I really wonder what Stephen's going to do... I don't think that he'll play by the rules.

On the other side, a year is a long time, and maybe Hugh will find a way to escape from his duty of honour!

The romantic scene between those two almost broke my heart (in a positive and a negative way hahah): it was well described, and very romantic, but I didn't like the end... anyway, after reading it for the second time, I realized that start an illicit love affair would have turn out bad for both Aline and Hugh, and it would have been out of character.

So... well done! :D

My goodness. That was certainly a shocking end to your chapter. You handled the surprise ending masterfully-I had no idea that Dickon would turn out to be a villain (I was, in fact, expecting him to be a humble hero). Great job on that front.

However, I did think that you could have introduced a lot of the background information about Aline in a more subtle way. Right now, most of what we learn about her we get from her thinking to herself. Could we learn more from her conversations with other people? Could you in fact defer some of this information to later chapters? It's all right if we don't understand exactly what's going on-it's better for us to learn about Aline gradually, as she speaks and acts, than for us to learn everything at once in bursts of exposition.

Oh, damn honour, anyway! After that kiss, Aline must have really hurt her head in that faint to think of honour! :D But seriously, great romantic scene, even if I don't like the outcome. Well done!

A year? That's an awfully long time, and I don't see Stephen waiting; my guess? He's gonna off the old man before that time and take Aline's land. Well?...

The only nitpick I have is that her faint was treated rather unimportantly. I understand Stephen's disregard, but Hugh probably should have had more thoughts/worries about Aline. It was the perfect time to get into his head and illustrate his two minds; his growing love for Aline,vs. his duty to Stephen. but again, it's all preference.

The chapter was again a good balance of dialogue and exposition. Waiting for the next update!

[It was past midnight and Hugh was drunk.]

Gotta say, I really love this opening line. Made me laugh, and I think it's a great way to start a chapter, haha. It speaks a lot about him, and I like how the guilt of leaving Aline in the prison cell is making him drink. I also enjoy how this is being told from his POV - I don't think we've seen much of Hugh's POV yet.

Oh my, Hugh having sexual fantasies while drinking himself into a stupor? What a naughty man. And turning something like him trying to apprehend her into something sexual says a lot about him - me thinks he might be into the whole role-playing thing.

Just a random pervy thought. xD

Ah, that dream was pretty cool. I think you do a great job with melting all her recent experiences/emotions together.

Stephen is such a bastard. I'm hoping to see Hugh run him through.

I think this chapter was really dialogue heavy, and I know I have that problem sometimes, but I feel like it made the chapter less interesting to read. I would have preferred more description in between of the lines of dialogue.

I did feel like your dialogue was realistic though, and I enjoyed that. It made it easy to get caught up in the story.

I love how you portray Aline. She's a strong character, and she's well fleshed out.