|Reviews for Slice of Life|
| Monty Mason chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
A very nice one shot. I loved the character behind Augie, however as it has been mentioned before, it would've been nice if you would've dug a little deeper into the other characters. I know Augie was the primary focus here but other characters then just felt like they were along for the ride on their road trip, you know just extras.
Also maybe dig a little deeper into details when you describes some situations, of course unless its intentional in some cases then of course leave it out lol.
That's the only things I really have to say in terms of improvement. Overall it was a very cute one-shot story, I can only imagine it being cuter to read in Manga format lol.
- Monty Mason
| Ibbit chapter 1 . 8/5/2012
I don't think it ended as well as it could have, but otherwise it was a good one-shot. The characters were amusing and there were many girl names brought up, so very many. Poor Augie. (I'm glad you wrote out the full name, I had no idea what it was short for) you have to give Chloe a little credit though, even Augie didn't know he was gay. Luck with writing and life and stuff..
| JHeartbreak chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
This one is really nice too. It's sweet is all.
I read 'A Prayer' and didn't think it was much. I'd really like to see you digging deeper into your characters. You seem to present us with sketches rather than portraits, which is a disadvantage when working with really short stories.
| Fumiki chapter 1 . 7/12/2011
Giggles.. Hehehee this is so cute! I was kinda hoping there'd be more chapter, but oh well~
| i-wish-i-had-wings chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
aww, i really liked augie! he was just, adorable xD but seriously, i wanted to throttle chloe, sooo oblivious! and if he doesn't show any interest to dating, back off! i'm glad he and nash got together p
| Zeekyboogydoog chapter 1 . 5/19/2011
That was gloriously fluffy. Well written and put me in a great mood-it was so adorable. So, thank you for posting. You made my day. :)
| SandPaperWishesAndDreams chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
| NUTE chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
AHA I FOUND ANOTHER WAY /PUFFS OUT CHEST IN PRIDE
Okay, so, I see you experimenting with different styles? This one is written much simpler than what I'm used to reading from you. There was no descriptive prose at all in this fic, which I think was good for this fic, so it could focus more on the characters. But at the same time, I feel like you could have gone deeper...? I know it says Romance/Humour, but I feel like maybe it was *too* simple? /rambles on oTL
Also, this but here: "Do you like video games?" asked Nash as Augie looked around. Either Augie was imagining it, or Nash sounded very nervous.
OKAY, to me, I don't think Augie would've noticed Nash's nervousness. Augie is portrayed as a really socially awkward teenager, and given that, I don't think he would be observant enough as to be able to hear nervousness from just Nash's voice. IDK MAYBE IT'S JUST ME AND I'M BEING TOO PICKY but yeah.
... This is like, the first actual review I've ever given, I think.
| Nute chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
First off, what is Gay Chicken _ (and I'm reviewing this as I read the story \o/)
LOL AUGIE WAE SO AWKWARD LOL I LOVE AWKWARD PEOPLE /shot /sobs i will forever be an #awkwardturtle /hashtag abuse on FP yaaay /shot more /this review is going nowhere
Nash. Spanish. Idk why but this amuses me so much-
"Under most circumstances, if not all, Augie would have joined Chloe's and another one of her only-friend girlfriends' (though she did only have one actual girlfriend-girlfriend" - THIS GIRLFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND THING IS CONFUSING
""Rah-rah," said Augie." - STARTS SINGING LADY GAGA
"But Nash's voice didn't count as noise. Augie was pretty sure he had never heard a noise so nice before." - You write the prettiest things, honestly
"And sure, nash was a boy." - *Nash
"Augie realized after a moment that it was one of hurt. Had he hurt her? He didn't mean to." - Okay, more confusion. What is 'it'? Augie shoving Chloe? But you make it sound like Augie is shoving past Chloe in hurt, except the next sentence is basically saying that Chloe is the one hurt. ME NO UNDERSTAND. ;A;
"Chloe always meant wall." - *well
"Well um. She didn't tell you that I liked you, did she?" - COMMA BETWEEN WELL AND UM /NITPICKING
"You don't like me?"
"Yes!" - L O L
"Yeah," he said, and then he leaned in to close the distance. - I LOVE HOW YOU DON'T ACTUALLY ILLUSTRATE THEM KISSING /APPLAUDS
August Fonda - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT AUGUST? BUT I LIKE FONDA BUT WHHYYY WHY AUGUST
"Ido like you and all, Nash," - *I do
"Oy! Vange!" - What does Vange mean?
| moon01234 chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
*squeeeeeeel* so cute, fluffy and adorable. Love it.