heyy well yeh i said i would give my honest opinion and ...

even tho ive read it before ...Omg AMAZING :D !

for the most part i loved it :) really good , your writting style is fairly unique and personalised and can make readers relate really easily to it, all in all a great story well done :D defs should do afvanced english. but yeh just so u know i liked it and the partial critisim and stuff is just to show u some possible ways to improve it to be a tad bit more awsome .

you should try expand your vocabulary a touch and use more language feature and the such to add a better meaning and understanding to things if possible . also one or twice ur diction is confusing

uhmm theres a bit of the story missing when they are at kyles house and suddenly transport to being on there way to mitches house

in a way its like you have a really really awsome story that has a great flow and characters and everything just needs a lil bit of an added uumph in languange features and more gripping meaning and well just a touch better conveyance of what ur putting out there

but yeh i still stick to amazing :) ur a great writer deb keep it up espeacilly if u enjoy it (cuase i enjoy reading it xD)