Another interesting installment! I think I like Rae. It seems nice. And so does Kip.

Good job on the imagery - I could picture the eye enigma perfectly. It was pretty icky and creepy. No sleep for me tonight, I guess - I don't wanna have nightmares about that thing.

My only suggestion is to maybe add a bit more descriptions to changes in surroundings - I was a little confused by those. But even so, this is very engaging, and I can already tell I'm gonna like it. Great job!

I hope you write more to this. It's a great beginning!