|Reviews for Dive and Love|
| APassionForReadingAndWriting chapter 1 . 12/4/2013
I love this story! There were a couple of punctuation errors (missing periods, commas) but otherwise a great, cute plot! I love it :D Nice job! :D
| SwimmingThroughExistance chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
i loved the last line and the whole compass/navigation metaphors
good job! write more:)
| non.graceful chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
I landed with a big thud on my butt. "But… that's so undemocratic! We are currently leaving in a free country, Ollie'
- spotted the mistake, eh?
But the thing is, Ollie's weird lately.
- where the is add the word 'being'. It'd make more sense.
The whole week I've been diving from dawn till dusk,"
- this is at the end of a para-graph :P and if it's at the end, it'd have a full stop right, right o.? You've actually done this a couple of times within this one shot so far and it's quite annoying -.-
Paragraphs can not be shared when a character speaks... A new line begins when one replies.
When using '!' at the end of quotations from characters, the next letter is usually capitalized even if it's out of the quotation marks!
- is that a new word?
You're choice of words, kind of made your story fail. It was a great plan, don't get me wrong! At times though, I felt as if I were too distracted by uninteresting parts of the story and of the mistakes... I think you should go back and edit it ... Though not too much.
You're story was kind of predictable- cliche aside! It just lacked ... Strength? Strength to sustain and entertain?
It's a favourite though... :)
Always great to edit,
P.s please don't complain to me and tell me that my review was too mean or whatever okay? Just take it into consideration.
| blubbfreak chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
Thanks for sharing your story. I liked reading it, but noticed two things about spelling and grammar:
- you use dashes instead of hyphens to connect words (level – headed 17 – year, instead of level-headed 17-year) which makes reading it a little harder
- it's "being in love" not "inlove"
But that's just minor stuff which can be easily fixed to make the reading experience even more enjoyable.
| Miss Mysteries chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
Interesting one-shot. I'm not quite sure what i think about the structure of the story. It seems a bit disorientated with having the little scenario of them in the carribean then going on to introducing her.
I would've thought maybe useing the scenario at the start as a flashback possibility at when Melinda brought up the subject? But thats just my personal opinion. There isn't really a mention of where they are? As in where the school is located? Because when it Melinda says "I thought you spent your break in the Caribbean waters getting skin cancer?" it implies that they arent at the Caribbean and that it was just a holiday/trip. But then later when it comes to her birthday, she's there again (on a Saturday) so i think it might be nice to clear up whether they live near there or not seeing as Oliver is also spending pretty much all his spare time in that area fixing up the boat.
| Single White Rose chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
The end dialogue was a bit cheesy, but I enjoyed this story thoroughly :)
| balloonfista chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
aww so cute! Ollie was awesome! I wish I had someone to make a boat for me ;) I thought she overreacted a bit :)
| mixed signals chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
Haha short but cute! Loved it~
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
That was good, but the dashes got a bit annoying. It might just be because I notice things like that, but you might want to review it and edit them :] Good story, though!
| youngin-matomon chapter 1 . 5/23/2011
it was cute. i liked it some bits and hated it in others. and could you not give so many breaks?
the confession was a bit, unreal. people don't actually confess that way, so that didn't make sense.