|Reviews for tequila sunrise|
| Cecelia Hawk chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
I really really like this. It's very good for a few reason: firstly, you do not really elaborate on what they are doing but there is a story there somewhere ['confess to you in my dreams', for example, says to me that she is in love with him.] That story comes into focus throughout the poem. Secondly, the words you've chosen are excellent as they effectively portray how sad the actions are of the persona or you e.g. 'inhale and exhale mechanically' brings to mind a robotic person which is sad because breathing is supposed to be natural. It gives the impression that the persona/you are desperate to just move on and pretend it means nothing when it clearly means everything.
'Before we slide to the floor and close our eyes', everything she does is futile because she's desperate and won't stop this process.