|Reviews for Male Necessity|
| Deedee Elle chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
You have some lovely descriptive phrases in here- 'the chorus of mismatched beeping' is very evocative, as is 'a soft voice caressed his mind like a lover'. I think because of this when you use the word 'posh' in the second section it sticks out as being a bit of a mundane choice, you could have described the room in a bit more detail to get the effect over. I like the continual references to the womens' eyes.
The section in the middle dragged a bit because of the volume of info to take in and the brief mention of the machine didn't seem to have a place.
There is something slightly sinister about the ending, not in the least how the babies are going to get out! The men seem oblivious to this though so either they've been brainwashed or typical blokes just happy to get sex and a curry. Eitherway it is a cool little story.
| Sophia Alexandra chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
really good writing. i like this a lot. is there going to be another chapter?
| Blink.Twice chapter 1 . 6/27/2011
I am altemtaley weired out keep writing. blue bath?
| Frap chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
That was simply weird. I like it! I can't wrap my head around the idea of male pregnancy but if there are aliens, you get a pass. The story was interesting and I thought about the beer commercial where the men run into a space ship with the women and the female counterparts rejoice on Earth.
It was a neat read.
(I like the descriptions also.)
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
Haha, I loved this. Such an entertaining take on the prompt. I love how the guys/the crowd are just so eager to be taken by the aliens. I mean, clearly things even out for them in the end but it makes me wonder if the guys knew what was in store for them when they volunteered for this, heh. Anyway, while it's a somewhat funny idea, it's executed in such a way that it can be read in all seriousness or with a humorous tone and I liked that a lot. Great job! Good luck in the WCC!
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
Oh man, that was fun as. Why does it feel so good to see guys preggers? XD I love how you handled their anticpation and reaction, I thought that was really nicely balanced. THe pace was great too, and i love teh little touches like the dark SUV, heh heh. some things never change. i think i ought to be slightly put out that teh guys adapt so well to their roles, but maybe they just hapy coz of teh hormones lol. actually i think its just that you make teh characters likeable despite their one track minds... well i'm not saying it right but i hope you get teh gist. i really enjoyed this. good luck in teh WCC!
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
This was definitely a refreshing outside-the-box take on the prompt. It's interesting to see a sci-fi story in this sequence of WCC entries.
Loved the tension of the opening. I honestly had no idea what was about to happen. And the surprise at the ending was, well, surprising. XD
This strikes me as something that could easily be made into a larger story. So many implications!
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Dragon made me do it chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Nice opening, I particularly like the line 'Clear skies without wind made the heat of the pressed bodies oppressive, but it was a lovely day for touch down from space.'
I have heard of science fiction stories before where the men got pregnant, but I think you have added some interesting details to this concept - the trade-off for men to endure pregnancy in this society is less than for women in human society: the gestation period is only four months, so it is less onerous; the men get bathed by beautiful women; and after the pregnancy they seem to have their desires fulfilled.
When I studied behavioural ecology the theory goes that the basis of female desire for a monogamous relationship and male desire for frequent copulation is based on the amount of investment the female puts into both the egg and subsequently the fetus compared to what the mail puts into the sperm. An egg is DNA filled with all the nutrients the future embryo will require. They envision sperm as a kind of parasitic DNA that hijacks the egg to make it do all the work to look after its DNA. The trade-off for the female is that she gets the genetic diversity which comes from the male DNA. In situations where the male puts more effort into raising the young, particularly with birds where the male can protect the eggs, the males are less interested in frequent copulation with multiple partners.
The reason I have raved on about all of that, is that in your scenario, the men both raise the children, but also have this desire to have promiscuous sex. I can see a justification for this though, because these men inherit both their DNA and their upbringing from human society. so I'm not suggesting you change anything there, just thought it was an interesting point to think about.
One question I was curious about that you may want to include in the story is, what happens to the young ones they are born? You imply that the men go off and have sex with whoever they like - does this mean that the females are raising their children even though the men gave birth to them? What is the reason that they needed human males for this? some of this detail might help to really sets it apart from other science fiction stories about men giving birth.
Well done :-) and good luck!
"We are so glad to able to meet your species..."- add the word 'be' after 'glad to'.
'long fingered delicate hand' - change to: 'long-fingered, delicate hand'
'Both leap over the barricade' - the rest was in past tense so changed to 'both lept over the barricade'
'They were enchanted by her, and that they were chosen.' - the sentence doesn't make sense to me. I suggest something along the lines of: 'they were enchanted by her, and by the fact that they were chosen'
'in the same material as what hung from the ceiling.' - the word 'what' here is grammatically incorrect. change to something like: 'in the same material as was hanging from the ceiling', or 'in the same material that hung from the ceiling'