Reviews for Flow Of Power
VERGILthefallen chapter 4 . 12/9/2011
you have improved. it flows even better and the best thing i can say now is that i really hear a voice coming through as i'm reading. Further compliments on the charecters and do continue.
Pancakegirl chapter 4 . 10/16/2011
BAHHHH! D: YOU MADE ME A STORY TELLING HOBO! AND WHAT'S WORSE? YOU MADE ME A DUUUUUUDDDDEE! xD I'm going to hurt you next time I see you. Just so you know! You better watch your back from any kind of raping ninja monkeys following you because I'll tell you they are on their way for pay back! Anyway... I like this chapter. And even though you made me mad i still like the hobo. Maybe cuz he stole my name. Why does he have to be toothless? Could you at least give the guy that stole my name some teeth? Anyway... It was good except that you should probably re read it because of spelling errors or you leave words out in your sentences. Ex: "I turned to companion and thanked him..." We aren't cavemen so I'm sure it should have been some thing more of "I turned to my companion and thanked him.." See what I mean? There were others but I won't point out every single one because I'm nice. Anyway! Don't be a lazy bum and make me wait gosh darn forever to get to the next chapter! Hurry and start writing!
VERGILthefallen chapter 3 . 7/9/2011
good to see you working on this. i like the new chapter, agian you did well showing us your charecters, there were some times where your phrasing and grammer could have been a little better. its not bad, just could be made to flow a bit better. try reading your chapters outloud to yourself when your done, or find a beta reader that can fix this. beyond that, no complaints on this chapter, keep it up!
Alicethegreat777 chapter 1 . 7/8/2011
Omg! I love it! Hell ya! Cant wait to read more!
Pancakegirl chapter 3 . 7/8/2011
lol awesome chapter! Really need the next one now haha. You have a few spelling errors though. Must be from typing too fast. I busted out laughing when I saw you wrote "Sock and terror" lol. Ya you forgot the H in shock haha. and you forgot the M in mother somewhere haha. anyway. That Shelby chicks driving reminds me of my own. haha. I drive off the road a lot and I don't think any old lady want to cross the street when I'm driving haha XD I wanna know Jacob's power. I really like him. He's all mysterious and stuff. That fire guy. I already forgot his name XD ya he's an ass hole. Great job developing his character lol. I hated him the moment you described him haha. Janie is stupid. But I like her more than the hot head. Anyway this is a long review so I'mma stop typing. Keep up with the writing!
VERGILthefallen chapter 2 . 6/21/2011
just read it.

I like it. you do well to keep away from normal charecter cliches, your main charecter has a personilty that i can relate to and really like. your opening was also good, catching attention and drawing me in. overall, well done. cant wait to see more
Pancake chapter 2 . 6/6/2011
I didn't sign in yet so that's why I'm not coming up as Pancakegirl. ANYWAY! This chapter was funny. I loved the part about Robbie haha. Xb Poor fellow doesn't have a very good Vocabulary. And in the beginning when you were talking about that blondie with the orange skin and hollister clothes, that sounds a lot like my sister Taylor lol. She goes to tanning beds, wears hollister, AND has blonde hair. I thought it was pretty funny Xb. OH but you should consider re reading your chapter. You have a few spelling errors. I think it's because you might have been typing too fast to notice them. You know I think it was you who told me to read my chapters before i post them. Maybe you should do the same ;b haha. Sorry had to gloat. Anyway, keep it up and get the next chapter up here. I wanna read it! Get yourself out of your zombie like stupor from the last chapter and work on the next or I will torment you until you do and i don't think you'll like that. O.o I gots my eyes on you. lol
Pancakegirl chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
Yay! you finally got it posted. Xb Hurry with the next chapter please. I wanna know things XD HURRY HURRY! lololololol