I absolutely want to read more of this. It's...fairly fascinating. I have a couple of theories of what's going on, but would greatly appreciate reading more of these, whenever you can manage to come up with them. This appears to be quite unique.

...well. This is fascinating. I wonder where this is headed?

"The girl flying over the ocean had been impossibly beautiful, a creature of softly sensuous curves despite the hard muscle hidden underneath. The real me was pretty enough, with deep green eyes and straight black hair made more striking by my pale complexion. But I was painfully thin and depressingly flat, and despite years of trying my hair stubbornly refused to grow past my shoulders. At twenty-six I still looked more like an anorexic high school student than a competent professional."

I think I've read the first description from every Mary Sue fic ever: "slim but with curves in all the right places"... The second is equally Sueish in its own way. "I'm pretty, but I'm just /too/ skinny!" I'm just using "Sue" as a shorthand for a particular set of descriptive cliches, but resist the temptation to make a big deal of whether your characters are attractive. I can see the point with your first character, since how perfect she is seems to be some sort of plot point, but it's still boring and cliched description, and very few people look in the mirror and start thinking about their "deep green eyes" and "striking pale complexion".

This generally looks like the start of a good story, but I think you could work on your descriptions a lot more. I don't mean that you should bog the story down by describing everything and everyone, but you're very focused on who's doing and saying what, and you only sketch in the vaguest terms what they look or sound or smell like.

"As I came down the hall behind the nurse's station I saw that the waiting room was packed with people, several of them bleeding on the floor. A beefy guy was leaning over the nurse's station shouting something about his wife at Liz, but there was such a din I could barely understand him. The reedy brunette leaning on his shoulder was a little pale from blood loss, but I could see at a glance that the ragged wound on her shoulder had already stopped bleeding. On a night like this the odds of her getting a transfusion were low, but she'd probably be fine without it."

Okay. How about as she comes down the hall the noise of the ER hits her, a confused babble of voices with a man's deep voice trying to shout over it. At first glance it's just a mass of people inside, but Kim's an experienced nurse and she can see this is worse than just busy: there's dark blood splattered on the greying floor tiles, and beneath the harsh scent of disinfectants, the room stinks of sweat and fear and exhaustion. A man's leaning over the nurse's station at Liz, his bulky shoulders hunched up with tension, while a thin brunette sags against the counter beside him...

I mean, "a beefy guy". "A reedy brunette". Whatever.

Hi. Great story. I found it after seeing what you were doing after time braid (FANTASTIC story btw). I was wondering if you're planning on continuing this? ugh gotta make an account for this site. Hardly go on here cos I prefer fanfiction. Just wondering if you could give me an answer on bbilenko at gmail dot com?

What the hell? Thats all I can say LOL SOOO confused. Please update more so I can not be confused anymore D

hmmm.

Interesting...but let's hope it doesn't take you years to finish it.

If this is going to be anything like your work on Time Braid, this is going to be epic. o.o

Here's to you finding the time, will and creativity to continue to write and complete this gem.

this is really good! i mean not the most original plot yet but you're working on that, so keep it up! I'm a reader of your FF so i might read somewhat inconsistently... oh well still a great read!

Oooooh, can't wait to see what happens next! A fantastic read.

FictionPress won't use my FF account to login. Didn't know that.

At first I thought that this would have a long 'learning curve' for the main character, like in Rime Braid, but it doesn't! I think you're doing a great job so far, and hope to read more later.

Also, OMG!Zombies! But not Oh My Goddess zombies, that would be freaky.

Interesting story, I look forward to seeing how this turns out.

Magic (or what may as well be), potential time travel/memory intrusion, time-spanning girl-love, and a zombie apocalypse-what's not to like? It does share a bit with Time Braid, in a good way. Carry on, soon please. On a related note, when this is finished, were you to publish and sell it (preferably paperback, as I love the smell of real books) I would definitely buy a copy.

Sweet! looking forward to seeing where this story goes.

I'm enjoying the new story as much as I have the older ones. I'm also glad to see you writing again!

(first 2 chapters) Well, that's certainly off to a fast-moving and intriguing start. 'Velvet Silence' picks up associations from To-Love-RU's 'Golden Darkness'. I see a solo assassin's worst nightmare here: to be overwhelmed by countless targets, each of which requires the killing blow, with no cover or quarter. Good thing she's found a partner. Interesting cover if I'm right: an ER nurse. Mornings at Furinkan were never like this...

Please keep going with this one. If you complete it, you can add on your world-building notes in an appendix, tip in cover art and per-chapter graphics in a manga style, and there's your ebook, with enough added content to make it eminently worthwhile to buy unless you price it silly. Even if you clean up all the loose ends in this one, it looks like you've potentially got meat here for a continuing series.

Pray continue. This one just got added to my morning fetcher.

-siaru at stormbringer dot org

Most relived that you've updated.