Reviews for The Girl in The Great Black Hat chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
This is written quite well. I really liked it. Keep up the good work.
weareyourworstnightmare chapter 1 . 11/20/2011
funny but cute and truthful makes you think before you speak.
xXDreamChaserXx chapter 1 . 7/15/2011
That was really good. It made me smile when the narrator saw the girl in the yellow hat. It's really true that just a few simple words can brighten someone's day just a little bit more. :)


Iris Musicia ft. Eliza Ghost chapter 1 . 7/15/2011
Interesting idea. At first, I thought the narrator was just being kinda nosy and mean, but his intentions toward the end seemed like ha felt pity, maybe? Wanted to help? I'm not sure how to put it. I did enjoy it though, seeing as your writing voice is quite good. This poem had a particularly eloquent and sophisticated sort of voice, I think. Though that was part of your intention, wasn't it?

Nijello chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
Ah! I am touched by your poem! I was also touched when I saw your profile, dear god I almost fainted. Its such a beautiful poem, and I think you should be proud of yourse;f
rgs38 chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
I found you, though I haven't made a fictionpress account yet. I really liked this, the message was good and so was the imagery. I also like the dialogue here, I don't really know why but I liked it.

I feel like the rhyme scheme might have been a little off in the middle and end. I rarely rarely write rhyme, I can't do it, so I might be mistaking but somewhere in the middle I feel like things started to get a little off. I feel like that might also be offset by separating the lines into stanzas (which if this is anything like the fanfic side of the site, line breaks tend to disappear).

Overall though, I really liked this, you used a lot of different literary devices subtly and while you did say (in the form of the dialogue) what you intended the message to be, it still came across to the reader in other forms. I don't know if that makes sense but you said it so the reader knows what they're supposed to think but you also made us feel it and really understand it. Great work!
Luna Carn chapter 1 . 6/15/2011
Very sweet. It put a smile on my face when the girl wore the yellow hat instead. :)
tolerate chapter 1 . 6/14/2011
It was good, but I was wondering why you would be left in the bulk of emptiness and buried tears when you don't know this girl well. Great details and imagery.