Reviews for Time
leavesfallingup chapter 1 . 6/15/2011
You have an interesting concept for a story. You should consider re-writing it as a longer story, perhaps five chapters or more. You could elaborate on her abandonment, the boy who saved her, her determination to earn a scholarship, and her search. It would also be interesting to know why someone who would save a young girl and pay for an apartment for her would act like a jerk and a bully when she met him three years later. A longer story would give more time for character development as well.

One critique: please be careful about over-using pronouns. If you will read your story out loud you will realize that sometimes it becomes a little confusing to decide which person your pronoun is referring to.