|Reviews for Inheritance|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 9 . 10/6/2013
I love the way you’re building things up. Great descriptions that really draw us into the world of these characters, and the dialogue…well, the relationships between the characters are believable because of the way you handle dialogue. None of it feels forced. It feels natural and the characters really bounce off each other. Love the small things thrown in here and there, like the kids playing with the snowballs and stuff. As always, I’m thoroughly enjoying the story. Keep it up.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 8 . 5/3/2013
As always, the interactions are written wonderfully. They really make the story, and although you don’t make it too hard for the reader to read between the lines, nothing is in your face, either. Great writing style, great voice, and a very enjoyable read. Nothing else to really say.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 7 . 12/17/2012
I really like the way the mysteries are building up, and the fact that there's multiple mysteries but a feeling that they all tie in with the two families. You can really sense the love triangle, too, and the feeling that she's pretty oblivious to it. The only critique I have is that the reporter doesn't sound very, well, reporter-like. The tone is too casual, too speculative. Maybe change it to be more factual, more inkeeping with how an event like a teenager disappearing would be reported.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 6 . 8/25/2012
As always, a really good chapter. The handling of characters is done well, and I like the way they interact. Great use of first person, too - it's believably from her POV, but still allows the reader to see things that she perhaps doesn't. I do think, at the end, it was just a tad difficult to get a hand on what she was feeling towards her father's idea, but I think you conveyed her emotions in reaction to the news about her mother really well. Great stuff.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 5 . 5/17/2012
I really like how there's this constant sort of battle between Eli and Derek; it brings in a sort of underlying conflict to the story, one that she can't quite see, I don't think, but one that is there. I loved the hide and seek game, and I think you wrote it really well; the only tiny thing I picked up on there was ["No, the punishment," Derek spoke up, reminded.] It doesn't sound quite right; maybe ("No, the punishment," Derek reminded him.)?
As far as I remember, we haven't really seen much of her Dad; from this bit, I really like him. He seems like a man dealing with a lot, and it's sweet that he got her the hoodie.
The flashback was really well written - although I have to admit, I was surprised she didn't link Catherine Stukas to the Stukas family; it may not be the mum, but why wasn't it mentioned that she's likely related to Derek and Eli? Just a thought. Anyway, flashback scene...yeah, well written, done in a much better way than many of the flashbacks you tend to see on here. (For example, I'm glad you didn't start it with something like "I thought back to when Mum had her accident..." or something similar.)
| castiel89 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
It's Amy from A Drop of Romeo! This is awfully late and I apologize profusely for it. But just dropping by to inform you that Inheritance has been added to the Love Triangle category at the site! Here's your special review :)
This story had me addicted from the very first chapter. Miryo's thorough descriptions made it seem like I was watching a film take place, instead of reading. That alone makes it a grade A read in my book. I could feel the snow seeping into my clothes, the wooded areas around me, the growing romance,...everything. It's amazingly written with only few spelling or wording errors here and there. The interesting twist in this love triangle is that it's between the girl, Lydia, and two brothers: Eli and Derek Stukas. They've all been friends and neighbors since they were little, with both families living together at one point. In the early years of their childhood, the three hung out together even though Derek and Lydia were best friends. But now that they're older, there's tension between the two brothers. Whether it's a battle for Lydia's attention or something deeper, Lydia is torn between the two. What makes the story even more captivating is that it's not just romance. There's side stories intertwined: Lydia's mother's mental illness and her father's jealousy of the Stukas', a boy's disappearance, and the brother's rivalry, to name a few. Be forewarned: Inheritance isn't your light and fluffy read. So, if that's the type of story you're looking for, this one probably isn't for you. It has a dark undertone and a foreboding feeling that something big and possibly bad may happen in later chapters. But, if you want something different and filled with mystery, suspsense, and – of course – romance, then definitely check this out. I, for one, will be having this story on my alerts and anxiously await an update.
Keep up the amazing work! As stated above, I'm anxiously awaiting the goodness you'll bring in the next update
| HiHelloMisterBear chapter 8 . 4/1/2012
Did Derek kill Echo? I am pretty sure he is crazy... like killing animals because he is crazy... and probably killed Allen.
What I am trying to get at is Derek a soon-to-be serial killer?
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 4 . 3/28/2012
Very little to say in terms of critique - I really like the characters, and I think you very cleverly hide certain things from the reader, such as her Mum or issues surrounding Eli and Derek. It works well, and I like how we get to know just a little bit more with every chapter. I still can't help but wonder where, really, the plot is going, but to me that's the sign of a good thing in something like this - it certaitly keeps me interesting. The one thing I will say, in the point where it's Christmas Eve...wouldn't that be mentioned, at all, at some point? Wouldn't Beth wish her a Merry Christmas or something and, also, who does school work on Christmas Eve? :P Just a few tiny things that, in a personal preference sort of way, nagged at me. But, yeah, other than that, really good stuff! I'll read more soon as I can.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 3 . 1/23/2012
I really like the use of descriptions; they're not overbearing but manage to convey a solid scene in just a few lines, although I do think you could have slightly more balence between dialogue and description. Eli seems like such an arse, and I think you way you show the two brothers is done really well; you can see that sense of competition between them, can feel the constant tension between the pair. Good job with that. The only other thing is more of a formatting thing; I think, as you have "six years earlier" before the flashback, you don't need it in italics.
| DutchAver chapter 10 . 1/18/2012
You've been very quiet, I thought you were going to review Rooting for Romance in its entirety? :( I was waiting for your review so I could review you back. Now that that review will probably never come, I'm going to review this anyway ;)
It seems clear to me that Eli and Derek are both fighting over Lydia. Derek wants to be together with Lydia, and sees Eli as a block. Maybe even better put: Eli and Derek are holding a contest, and Lydia's the prize.
I KNEW IT! It was Lydia's father Derek's mother had an affair with! But I am unspeakably glad that he didn't father either Derek or Eli, thank goodness. That avoids a lot of awkwardness.
I do wonder how you were going to continue this story, since you've been very quiet lately. Are you still going to update? :)
I spotted one mistake:
'It was probably one of the only thing' one of the only thingS
This story most certainly goes on Alert
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 2 . 1/7/2012
Nice chapter; I like how you manage to show more of the character's through action and dialogue, it works really well. Couple of awkward sentences but I think others have pointed them out. [It bothered me that Derek hadn't said anything about it.] This bit confused me slightly, because I thought Eli said Derek didn't know he was back right then?
The relationship between Derek and Eli is, I imagine, strained, but I like how we don't know the full details because Lydia doesn't. And Eli...acts odd. It really draws the reader in, making them wonder what, exactly, is going on. Great stuff.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 12/8/2011
I really like this - it makes for a strong opening chapter, and personally, I think you do an excellent job of showing rather than telling. You reveal things at a good pace, and right now, I find myself very eager to find out more about these characters. I liked the interactions between them at the start, and you showed a lot about the two just from the way they talked. There's an element of innocence near the start, especially with our narrator, but the ending takes a turn towards the more sinister and, more interestingly, does it in a flashback when she would have been younger and more innocent. Overall, I thoughly enjoyed reading it; nothing I could critique on that hasn't been said by other reviewers so I'll just say that I'll be back ASAP to read more!
| M.R. Hill chapter 6 . 11/27/2011
- I LOVE THE ACTION! I get a very nice picture for all you have going on here. You have a natural progression through this as well in writing it. The way you build, step by step, works well and fits the atmosphere of things.
- Alright, my theory failed, Derek is screwed up. Not that I mind, I'm glad my theory was wrong in this case. XD
- The whole deer gutting thing more than proved that. I'm really fearing for Lydia's safety at this point with how screwed up he can be.
| M.R. Hill chapter 5 . 11/25/2011
- Sorry for not being the fastest reviewer in this case, I've had a couple of things to do in personal life and not been heavy on reviews. Regardless, now that I have time, going to try and catch up this all by end of weekend!
- Oh and to answer your poll, I like Eli more of the two. While I do like calculating characters, I'm not much on the side of coldness
- After reading this now, part of me wonders if a swerve is coming. Throughout it all, so far, Derek seems to be a bit too obvious the conclusion. Of course, I could be wrong, but he just seems like obvious evil to me.
| Fierce.Imagination chapter 6 . 11/19/2011
Hmm I wonder who that journal is about… This story gets more and more storylines, more and more mysteries… :D
The deer gutting was a bit sickening but real. I’m not sure why, but this story feels like a book you'd read at the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot tea or chocolate when it’s freezing cold outside... This is a cozy story, that’s what it is. :D And I’m becoming addicted to it!