Hi! After you gave me some advice on TAG, I read your story to get an idea of what you were saying.

It makes more sense now. I felt myself feeling sympathy for Cecilia, and somehow I will have to add that into my story.

Nice job! The detail and everything was so good! You're a really really good writer.

your writings getting better

this reminds me of a movie i just saw

whats good about it is that something actually happens in most chapters, unlike in a lot of stories where absolutely nothing happens, the author just rambles

Wow, definitely a muy importante chapter. ;) Lots of big stuff happened in this one, which I liked. I was wondering when Tan and Ovid would find out Alida was from the tower. And I can't believe Tan tried to kill her! What's wrong with him? I'm glad Ovid blocked the assault though, he's such a great guy. Please update soon!

I had a feeling Lamb was Ovid that you mentioned at the very beginning of the story. :) She should tell him that she knew him before the tower and everything. Surely she'll figure out that she's princess he was looking for all this time. Great chapter, can't wait to read more! :)

Ovid is so unpredictable, I like it. :) This was another great chapter. :) I know Alida is blind and everything, but I'd like to know what Stryder and Ovid look like. And how old they are. Please update soon!

Hey there! Your story was nice and easy to read, kind of 'fairytaleish' :)

I enjoyed the way you built suspense in the first part, until the boy rescued her.

The only thing I could suggest you is to replace the noun "Cecilia" with "she" in the following paragraph:

Cecilia clutched the hem of her dress, pulling it up where her hip was. Cecilia's arms shook, her elbows hitting the sides of the closet. Frogs are princes in disguised. Cecilia only had a frog because Mother told her that, but when Father received the frog Cecilia's teacher found, her pet was put in the oven. She cried and cried. Just like how Cecilia was now. And Mother...she'd find and wrap her arms around Cecilia, soothing out Cecilia's silver blond hair her teacher sneered at. Cecilia hiccuped, remembering the chant Mother would say whenever she would try to calm the child down. "Cecilia, Cecilia, let down your hair. Let down your hair."

It sounds repetitive and is a bit annoying to the ears. But other than this, well-done!

I've only read the first chapter, but I'll add the story to favourites and read it later. :)

Wow! I definitely did not see it coming that Ovid was blind too! How does he do it? From clicking like the teacher does? This was a fantastic chapter as always. :) I found only two mistakes though:

"Ovid had leaded me to a cottage not far from Stryder's home and introduced me to his teacher, Walter Willow." You should change 'leaded' to 'led'.

"I said in disbelieve." You should change 'disbelieve' to 'disbelief'.

Minor errors, great work!

Ovid seemed extremely distant in this chapter. I wonder why he's so set on finding this princess. Hopefully Alida will realize eventually that she's the princess. Oh and I hope that she runs into prince Adrian! He's my favorite, along with Stryder. :) Nice chapter, please update when you can!

I like how you took a classic story and twisted it. Its not overly sappy like classical remakes tend to be.

I’m confused because you said that your story needed a lot of work and I was looking forward to having a lot to critique, but you’re story is so well-written. I can tell that you’ve thought out the plot and have planned the structure out nicely. I really enjoy your story. Literally, the only critique I have is read over the prologue again because there are some grammatical mistakes.

You did really well with the prologue. It got me hooked and I wanted to read more. Sometimes I get bored with the beginning of stories, but yours kept me interested. I was confused at first, but I think you meant it that way and I liked it. I read through the all the chapters quickly because I couldn’t stop reading. I have a feeling this story is going to be an epic journey and when I say epic I mean the true meaning of it. Your story has the potential to become popular and big. I love the flashbacks and the places you put them. It all makes complete sense. I really got into the story and found myself getting lost into it. I really can’t wait for the next chapter.

I like your setting a lot. Usually I don’t like a lot of description, but it’s essential for this story because the main character is blind. The descriptions were easy to read and I didn’t feel like it was taking me forever to get through them.

Most plotlines aren’t original, just because it’s so hard to be original. The only unoriginal thing about your story is the tower, the rest of it is probably one of the more original stories I’ve read so far. I love the plot changes, from Alida getting teleported to her being kidnapped and held with the other Celcilias. I love the hints about Ovid and the little things that are coming back to Alida. Honestly, everything is so planned out well and it seems that every scene you write has a meaning and it’s not just useless fillers.

I love character development, but I love how settle you are with it. I like how Alida is learning more about herself as she interacts with people for the first time and I look forward to seeing her grow. She has a lot of potential because of where you start her at. At the beginning she’s like a blank slate and there’s so much you can do with her. Stryder, Adrian, and Ovid are good solid characters and I also look forward to what you’re going to do with them. I even like the “smaller” characters, such Mother and Sophia. The Allu creep me out by the way. I loved how you introduced them into the story. I feel like all I’m saying is “I love this” and “I love that”, but your story is really good and I usually can find at least two things to critique.

So, anyway, overall a really good job and I am really excited to read more. You should definitely write more romance after this story. :)

It was a good thing Stryder was there to save Alida. I'm assuming that was Prince Adrian who was telling Alida to let down her hair. No wonder she was crying because of that. Great chapter! :)

Hmm, I wonder who the people were who kidnapped Alida. And they're named Cecilia? Hopefully that'll be explained soon. Great writing! :)

I hope Alida goes to the ruin of the tower so she can figure everything out. And if Stryder realizes it was her in the tower...Hopefully he won't judge her. What would be really cool is if she found Prince Adrian while exploring there. :) And I think that Stryder sort of has feelings for Alida, he seems to care for her alot. Nice chap!

The passages in italics are flashbacks, right? Lamb seems like a good kid too, although I want to know how he and Alida knew each other. Are they related? Friends? And it was surprising to see a bit softer side of Ovid in this chapter. Who knew he'd protect Alida from the Allu? Nice chapter! :)

Stryder seems like a very genuine guy and I can't stand Ovid. He's a jerk. I like the mythical stuff you add into the story like the witches and Allu. I wonder what'll happen to her while staying with Stryder and his family? Lovely writing! :)