|Reviews for Fractures|
| Hyphonated chapter 5 . 10/25/2011
This is beautiful.
I hope your doing ok.
| morphine and lollipops chapter 5 . 8/1/2011
This made me hurt all sorts inside, dear. I haven't quite discerned which parts of this are true and which aren't, but you can't write about feelings you've never felt and that's all sorts of hurts and troubles no one deserves. So a billion billion hugs, and lots of love, and you are beautiful and an amazing writer and yes.
| chewychester chapter 5 . 7/31/2011
Very sad. I loved the descriptions through clouded vision.
| darkershadeofpale chapter 4 . 7/11/2011
Hey Ashlee. It's Kyrric. With a different skin.
Still cheering for you over here in Sydney, where it's bloody freezing and awful.
This is lovely writing, but it's so dark, compared to what you used to write. You're talented with words, but I see he pillowbook tag, and I worry for the girl behind them. From your writing, I know you're beautiful, in ways that you probably don't see about yourself.
Don't let the bedbugs bite, okay?
On a mote technical level, the second person works gorgeously, and I know that I couldn't possibly feel what she's feeling, but the insight in itself is powerful. And you're so good at picking the right words out of a dozen others - the ones you pick just ... work, they create a particular image, a particular feeling, that sort of mixes in with the rest of the other images and feelings and the results are chilling, in a way that makes for very good writing. I feel like this has taken a departure from the first chapter though - it's gradually less tangible, less... corporeal, and I think if you get back to that sort of ... taste every couple of chapters (maybe it's because there are other characters in the first? I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm talking about, but I hope you get what I mean), this would be even more powerful than it is already.
| thisaccountisdeleted45 chapter 1 . 7/10/2011
When I first started skimming I was about to just cancel and exit but when I actually started reading and analyzing I seriously think that this could become a wonderful piece. And yea...it's more than a oneshot!
| chewychester chapter 3 . 7/10/2011
I want to answer this, not that you requested an answer or even asked a question.
ISn't fair to press on in hopes of becoming insync with him? Mostone plane be frozen and the other subtropical? It is these intersections of worlds that blow me away.
| chewychester chapter 2 . 7/6/2011
I want to pull something upbeat and positive out of this chapter, whoa, this is tough, how about, at least it isn;t a one night stand because she wants to be prettier for next time. I'm exhausted, I don't know about you. Very good story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
I don't pretend to know what i'm talking about, but to me the piece had fantastic flow and I felt immersed. I haven't read anything with that type of perspective before but it worked flawlessly. Very emotive, but maybe that's just because i was there
I think the ending fitted well and left me wanting to know what's going to happen next to this 'fractured' beauty.
See you tomorrow
| morphine and lollipops chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
Ack, that's horrible about the exams, but yay for partying? ;D You party animal, you. I'm an angst whore, in more ways than one, and I definitely love the raw emotion. It's not pretty, it's not true, but it's real. Yeah. xD So yes, I liked it quite a bit. 3
| chewychester chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
I'm sure you're not asking us, readers, what we think of the riddle. I'll tell you what I think of the story though, it is incredibly hot. As I was reading it, the world blurred (not enough so that I couldn't keep reading) and it softened and I fell into the body of the drunken girl. I say that only becasue you had her think it...don't be that girl. But if you take that out, you can't really tell girl or guy. Funny, I felt that. I loved the story. I'm glad your tests are finished. :)
| Koki Enwai chapter 1 . 6/17/2011
This is brilliant. Usually second-person POVs irritate me, but you've executed this flawlessly. You set the atmosphere and characterization in such an entrancing way. I loved every word of it.