|Reviews for Hera's Legend|
| Mysterylucy chapter 3 . 7/10/2011
Really good chapter! I love the way they are so powerful when they are talking to the teachers, and how they are so confident and in-control, but when they are talking among themselves they seem just like ordinary teenagers.
Great work, only one crit- there are three very FAT paragraphs in the middle that where rather hard work to read. Maybe chop them in half? Long paragraphs put people off.
| Ramar chapter 3 . 7/9/2011
I absolutely love this rewrite! It is far more detailed and clear than the original one! It definitely has me curious! ]
| Nick Griffalco chapter 2 . 7/1/2011
Aw, love you forever too :)
It was nice how Helen was skeptical about them all being gods, all to often in fantasy/Sci-fi you'll see people just immediately accept that there's like aliens or vampires or what have you, so that gave it a realistic feel.
Like I said before loved the "but they weren't religious" part.
Um...I think you put Haden as Harry again, might want to fix that.
Well I should probably get around to beating chapter seven for you, (side note: beta is the Greek letter for B, and it's a story invoking Greek gods, that amuses me).
| Mysterylucy chapter 2 . 6/29/2011
Great storyline! I've been reading far too much of Percy Jackson, when I was reading chapter one I was going, 'Oh, that's Hestia... and he's Hades...', ect. :)
Really love it, short, snappy and to the point, but with amazing description and dramatic conversation. Hope you publish more chapters soon!
| Ramar chapter 2 . 6/26/2011
Hm...it's very strange that he suddenly asks her to just leave all of a sudden...her question didn't seem a sensitive topic...or was it?
Liking this rewrite a lot! ] Keep it up
| chocolate93 chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
wow...i loved this story before and i still love it now! i was gutted when you didn't update, so to see you still writing the story is really cool :)
please carry on updating! xxx
| Nick Griffalco chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
Well first of all yay, you took my idea and combined the prologue and chapter 1! )
Well I've beated this chapter for you so you probably remeber my thoughts, but as a bit I guess it wouldn't hurt to remind you of what an awsome job you've done and I like how you said Minerva has ash-blonde hair (for some reason I think that just works great for her), though for Peter I would have said he had wine-dark eyes since that how the ancient Greek poets describbed the sea (but it's your story, not mine), really you did great with all the discriptions.
And I like how this version's does a good job setting things up with Helen and Zach even from an early start, and how Helen doesn't auto matically accept that this is all going on, made the story feel more real that way.
To answer that wuestion you ask before, yeah I missed have you around. What can I say, you're my friend and you mean a lot to me (as do all the people I've met on fictionpress).
Well like I set it's off to a great start, I'm happy to beat more chapters (I think the last I read was six) and if you need more reviews I can rally my troops and send them your way )
| World chapter 1 . 6/19/2011
Hi, I saw your story and since I enjoy Greek mythology I decided to give it a try. First off, it isn't plagued with poor grammar and terrible sentence structure, and you do a good job of describing your characters and getting their personalities across in the single sentence many of them are allotted for responding to the teacher.
You're already head and shoulders above a lot of fiction writers for that alone. Congrats.
But now for the constructive stuff: It's hard to get attached to, and care about anyone when the reader is bombarded with so many characters. When everyone has the spotlight, no one does. The way the characters so quickly accept that they're gods is a little unbelievable, and it just folds back into too many people having the spotlight at once.
Again, there's nothing wrong with how the story is written, but the way the characters and plot so-to-speak are set up is bland. I'd like to see more of this with a tighter focus and a more conflicted cast.
| Ramar chapter 1 . 6/19/2011
Hm...I like this rewrite a lot and I can't wait to see the improvements! I am really excited by the prospect of finally reading something Greek gods related! ] Story Alert!
| Jeremiah St. Bluefire chapter 1 . 6/18/2011
I really liked your story. It was great and refreshing to have a story about the Greek gods as if they were going to school, I SO can't wait for future chapters.
And just so you know I know alot of Greek mythology so if you ever need help with it I can help or if you need something looked up for one of the gods I can do so as well. Best of wishes with your story, REALLY loved it just so you know again.
P.S. PLZ read my story :)