|Reviews for I Bet You Can't Jump|
| L Moonshade chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
I love it, great imagery and I like how some things are left to the reader's imagination.
| Draco Malfoy chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
Did she drown? Because I got that impression from the 'bet you can't jump' thing. And it was actually really good.
| Koki Enwai chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
So... Sunny previously died from cracking her head open after slipping and falling by the pool? And now she's "haunting" the pool? That's what I'm getting from this, but I'm not sure if I'm right.
Regardless, it was good. I liked it a lot, but I did spot a few grammatical errors, and they involved your use of semi-colons.
The first one:
It's a strong and sickly smell; the chemical mostly used to keep the pool clean.
In this case, the semi-colon could be replaced with an em-dash.
And the other:
She slowly made her way around the pool; making sure not to run.
Here, the semi-colon should just be a comma.
But anyway, like I said, I really liked it. Contrary to what you say in your author's note, I don't think it's a fail of a ghost story at all. It's actually quite good.