|Reviews for Raffaela|
| The Prickly Pear chapter 1 . 6/23/2011
This was very good, very good indeed, and I have to say if I’d found pictures like that I’d have written about them too! O.0 I loved how subtle everything was, not all abuse is being beaten or raped after all and there’s no telling what damage being forced to behave like that caused Raffaela. I particularly liked that you had her question (in an appropriately childlike way) what was happening to her even while accepting it blindly, it shows a very plausible mindset for someone in that position.
As for the critical part of this review, there really isn’t much! Grammar, for the most part, was very well done however you do need to watch your tenses; there are a couple of places where you switch from pass to present tense, particularly when Raffaela is thinking about things. Also I spotted one typo: “to do as she asked” should be “to do as *he* asked.”
See what I mean? Hardly anything! I really did enjoy this story, thank you for taking the time to post it!