|Reviews for Many Tongues|
| Libraries-aremadeupof-Letters chapter 1 . 7/20/2011
I liked it. It says complete, but I think it ends to suddenly. I reckon you should keep going!
| awilla the hun chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
I think that you could describe things in a bit more detail. Not that much, just giving some context. For example:
-Exactly which tribe is Salali supposed to be a princess of?
-Why exactly is she with these Englishmen? They're here, exploring, but how did she come to meet them? (Ambush whilst hunting? Accidentally meet them? Get captured by them? Encounter an embassy of them?)... looking in more detail, I see that the men are here to look at plants. (At least, partly for that.) But still-how did Salali meet them?
-What does everyone look like? You don't have to put in much detail, but anything will do. If nothing else, these Englishmen will look outlandish to a Native American, with their strange (by now probably fairly ragged) beards, haircuts, clothing, religious symbols (an English priest was somewhat startled to find natives draping themselves all over his copy of the Bible so as to gain the power of its 'spells'), and so on not to mention their strange technology, and even animals (bull mastiffs were noted as being useful for keeping angry natives at bay.) In addition, she would probably find it pretty strange that someone would need to study plants, which were self evidently so abundant everywhere that you don't have to travel very far to take a close look at them. In addition, this helps the reader visualise the characters more. Similarly, the Englishmen will probably find these massive, untouched forests to be pretty strange (although this will doubtless need an English POV chapter to explore), with their bizarre natives. (Or wherever they are supposed to be.) Some would probably also be uneasy amongst the natives themselves; not just due to being rowdy on sacred land, but they would have heard some odd stories themselves about the natives. (The exact degree of truth in these varied widely.) Accounts of natives skinning captives with sea shells after burning them alive, say, not to mention the actual tale of Pocahuntas (John Smith describes himself as being almost executed before Pocahuntas saved him) might have made some of them reluctant to stay in a native camp.
-Finally-a bit more showing Salali with her people could be interesting. (This could turn up in the chapter depicting the night spent with the tribe, of course.)
Still, interesting story. Good luck!