|Reviews for Purse Strings|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/6/2011
Again the whole ending it with one period makes it seem like the whole piece is one long sentence. I would get rid of it or punctuate the whole piece with sentences.
"siberia should be acknowledged as my fate"... Siberia
"rather I must fulfil this obligation"... fulfill
I loved the first two lines. The whole puzzle thing is done a lot, but you had a new unique spin on it. I also liked the word choice exasperate. It puts great emotion into it.
The whole tree thing I'm assuming is an allusion to the narrator not being able to have children? I liked that idea of explaining a bit more about the narrator and their situation. That said, it didn't really seem to fit there for me. The two situations just didn't really connect.
I liked the rest of it. "life has accepted me from
my first heartbeat "... is a beautiful way to look at the world. And I also liked "renting this house owned by love," It was a good description and I liked the play on rent vs own.
The piece itself has a great message especially in the end which I also really like.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile)
| Melanie Layugan chapter 1 . 7/15/2011
Amazing. This poem inspires to keep on going ahead and having hope despite how futile it may be or the challenges that come across it. Keep it up )
| BangxDitto chapter 1 . 7/13/2011
I love it; especially the purse string bit. I just love how bitingly poetic your work is.
| Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
Glad to see you're still writing. I'm in a pickle with writers block. Excellent work as always. Keep it Up!
| noverbechotmail.com chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
You always have creative thought provoking lines: "Now that I'm renting this house owned by love"-how awesome is that! Good work.
| Kati chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
I like this one. Reminds me of the beach for some reason. House owned by love is a beautiful image. Very nice :)
I hope everything is going well for ya!
Love, your twin,
| Punslinger chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
You make beautiful use of metaphor and allegory here: "slash the purse strings" for breaking the psychological umbilical cord binding us to foolish illusions. And: "renting this house owned by love" the body we didn't ask for but feel metaphysically compelled to cherish and use to its fullest potential. But: "Siberia should be acknowledged as my fate" is a little too bleak when you: "hold the baton to enthuse others."
Overall, a striking poetic affirmation of life for all of its pain and disappointment.
| The lone canine chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
Hey wow I really like this piece in particular of your works, definitely one of your best ones. Wow!
| Insanity Streak chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
I really enjoyed this piece as it is lyrical and intriguing. You have some really nice lines such as: "Cracks of the jigsaw puzzle exasperate the landscape" and "Because I finally understand that life has accepted me from my first heartbeat" At times I found your meanings a little confusing, particularly the siberia reference, however, I don't think that made reading this any less enjoyable. I found this a lot of fun to read and the imagery you created made it even more so. This is a well written piece. I like it a lot. :D