Reviews for The Package
Katherine Queen chapter 4 . 7/9/2011
I did find a small mistake, but I'll just quote now... "I finally shoved open the front door and was greeted, no so politely, by the cab driver." The word "no" should be "not", unless you're going for a little Mexican English. Regardless, I did enjoy the ending of the book. It was very great. Bravo!
Katherine Queen chapter 3 . 7/9/2011
I did find a mistake the moment I did hit the second paragraph of this chapter. Here's the quote... "I feel to me knees, the reality of the situation finally hitting me." Feel is spelled right, it just isn't used correctly - try "fell" instead. And "me" should be "my", unless you did intend to use me. I didn't expect that at all. He went all that way to find out that the person he had to send the package to already passed away and was in the grave already. That's very sad indeed. Now, I see where the "Hurt/comfort" comes from in this chapter. Sad yes. Powerful, yes. Very great story so far. I look forward to see the conclusion and to see the photo album.
Katherine Queen chapter 2 . 7/9/2011
so far, I love what you say about the computers saying that address didn't exist, classic comedy. Quote from short story... "I closed my eyes and trust tried to relax, but it didn't work." I guess you would replace trust with "just". This chapter is very good and so is the overall story. Sure there were mistakes in this chapter, but not a lot - just that one I quoted for you. I am curious to see what's in the package. However, hopefully its not like this one book I read where two knights travelled through terrain and terror simply to send a letter that says, "How are things going?" to the other castle. Of course, it did make me laugh, but it was extremely disappointing that I read all that way just to get duped. Regardless, I know you wouldn't do that - especially after your "path of ruin" novel which I look forward to read once I see it in book stores.
Katherine Queen chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
So, I certainly enjoy the short story. I didn't see much updates from your end for quite a while. I'm glad to see you're still a writer among us. I did get a couple laughs during this chapter, especially when the cab driver just did throw Sebastian's luggage on the sidewalk. It also did make me laugh when I did read that people did gasp that there is a reservation for the room. Very funny stuff so far. With the "Hurt/Comfort" there however, I did expect a few sad stuff as well. I did find it peculiar that he has fear of the package, then again its like those packages that say "don't open until Christmas". You know they just can't, but look at things like that. Its like a disease almost. Regardless, I will continue reading and I hope for the best.