|Reviews for Mother's Love|
| Tora-2011 chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
You requested a review for this poem and here you are.
First of all: Unfortunately, it did not tie me to my screen as much as other poems and stories by you did, but this is just a personal impression and therefore I will not let it influence my review too much, since I want to base my review on the analysis I have done. If you want me to, I can send you the document with a fully coloured analysis )
rhyme: the only rhyme in the poem is sorrow and tomorrow in verse 1&3 and tied and light in 7 and 9. There is no obvious reason for this in my opinion. I can't think of a reason why you would use a rhyme in v1&3 and v7 and v9 but do not continue to use any rhymes. I can't see any pattern. Maybe I am a bit too classical for that, but in my opinion rhymes should follow at least some sort of pattern.
stylistic devices: Don't expect that to be complete, I'll simply list as many as I can find.
anaphora: you have used quite a number of anaphoras.
v2&v3 begin with "in"
v4&v5/ v7&v8 begin with "my" it is interesting to see that the most frequently used is "my". the anaphora "my" is even used as an anaphora within the list in v5. Giving a possesive pronoun such an importance in a poem about a mother's love, makes you think about to what an extent a mother owns her child.
v11&v12 begin with "with your" which underlines the bond between a mother and her child in my opinion.
alliteration: I think the alliterations in v6 (river runs) and 9 (live, life, light) are worth mentioning. "river runs" coincides with a similie which i will talk about later on. the alliteration in v9 is an accumulation of two of three main themes which I have found in your poem. I will also explain that further later on.
parallelism: there is a p. in v7: my lips sealed, my arms tied. it is also an anaphora using "my" again. I am not sure about the meaning of it, but one could argue that the theme of "sealing" and "tieing" is represented in the parallelism, because a parallelism is a stylistic device that ties you to certain grammatical rules and structures.
there is another parallelism in v11&12 - v 12 mirroring the grammatical structure of v11. In my opinion this parallelism is a bit more like a repetion, than a real parallelism, because both parts of it are so similar to each other, whereas the first one had more of a contrasting aspect to it.
metaphor & personification in v13: spirit of death is a metaphor in my opinion. I mean, there is no such thing as a spirit that brings death. At least not in my opinion. In my opinion death is just a physical process, but that may be due to my believes. Spirit of Death seems like a metaphor that uses personifaction to enable the reader to imagine an aspect (death) that is rather unimaginable and abstract.
three main themes in the poem:
I have mentioned before that I have found three themes in the poems; all of the are based on contradiction:
sorrow - joy
darkness - light
life - death
"sorrow and joy" dominates the first half of the poem.
"darkness and light" can be found throughout the poem, but is used mostly in the second half.
"life and death" starts, when sorrow and joy ends. the change is marked by the alliteration in v9. For this reason v9 is one of the most important verses in the whole poem. It features a change in themes, an alliteration and an accumulation of two themes (life and light). I also think it sounds "light" and "positive", because of the accumulation of i's in it. I have heard of a theory in linguistics that i,a and e are considered positive vowels, whereas o and u have a negative connotation.
Well, I should have mentioned the vowel-theory in the stylistic device part; sorry. Let's get back to the themes then:
The constant use of contradicting themes lets me think that you thought of how a mother lives through pain and joy all the time. It will never be only positive. There will always be less rewarding moments.
As for the life/ death theme: Life seems a very important in this poem which puts an emphasis of the idea of "giving birth (life) to a child which is probably the most important aspect of motherhood.
Continuing the circle of life by giving birth is also a way to overcome death and therefore a way to reconcile contradictions such as life and death. This is also expressed by the repition of "bundle" (which is a symbol of the child I take it) at the beginning and end of your poem. In a way, this closes a circle, too.
Now that I have talked so much about the theoretical aspects of your poems, I want to discuss the content of it. I have said right at the beginning that it did not capture me as much as other stories you have written did. Maybe this is because I cannot really picture anything when I read your poem. I mean, I can see a mother holding her child, but the poem seems to lack development.
There is a great potential of how you use stylistic devices, but you should concentrate a little more on the mere content, the story you want to tell when you write a poem.
Analyzing your poem reminds me of analyzing expressionist poems. These poets used devices marvelously, but it is very difficult to decipher what picture/story/idea they had in mind when they were writing their poems. However, you can decipher it, when you have a certain knowledge about their time, backgrounds etc.
My suggestion to you would be to concentrate on how to bring content&style together. They should always support each other. There is already a lot of structure when it comes to your style, but I would want the content to have an equal structure.
Well, that's it for now, but we can discuss my review& your poem further if you want to.
But please: Don't expect me to write a review like that for every of your poems/stories. I have just had an "intensive-review" moment.
| Unfounded chapter 1 . 7/1/2011
You can sense the feeling in the poem. Like its something you felt, rather than thought, up. No pun intended.