Reviews for Not a Chance
craziebabe45 chapter 14 . 9/24/2011
Nice! Clever way of bringing Adrian into the situation. He told just enough information to pique Makayla's interest but not too much that he was giving everything away. Also, her tailing Adrian was great! Chance set himself up! lol That's what he gets for teaching her how to con people. His planned is foiled by her again.

I'm glad she didn't call the cops even though I don't know if I'd have the strength not to. With him missing for that long I would have been FREAKING out! I know that calling the cops on his would have been a terrible idea, but still. It would have taken some major fortitude not to do it.

Great job!
craziebabe45 chapter 13 . 9/24/2011
DAMMMMMNNNNNNN! They really messed him up. That made me cringe just reading it. I felt terrible for him and I can't believe that he actually drove afterwards. I would be in no state to do anything let alone drive to a crappy motel. I feel bad that he's making Makayla freak out about this whole thing. She's already a little high strung and then to have him disappear for four days. Oh man, that would scare the shit out of me. I don't like when people wait a couple hours to respond to a text msg. I couldn't imagine waiting four days.

Though if I was in her position, I would file a missing person's report after a day. Get the cops involved. Exactly the opposite of what he would want to happen. So I don't know how that's going to work. But I can't wait to find out.

Thanks for bringing up my concern from the last chapter. I like that he has set aliases so he can't mess anything up and that he knows that he messed up changing everything up.

I really liked this chapter even though the beat down hurt me too :)
Midnight113 chapter 17 . 9/23/2011
Uh oh, looks like Chance has been caught again looking suspicious. She seems to be use to it by now though, lol. I love that you went back and did her POV on their night together. I felt like that really added to the scene and made it more special than it was. ;) Great work as always, keep it up!
craziebabe45 chapter 12 . 9/23/2011
So I'm just going to throw this out there, but you have a way with daddy issues.

1. Kellan...really enough said

2. Kai - his dad was not actually his real dad and he didn't know about it until the end of the story...

3. Lucas - single parent right?

4. Chance - dad started him conning and apparently also conned him

I think we should psycho analyze this for a minute. Most of your stories have a main subplot of the main male character having a negative, absent, or estranged relationship with their father. That's a pretty interesting motif in your writing style.

I like it. It always gives the characters some more depth. I liked the picnic idea. That was cute of them.

I know Chance in a professional but what he is doing must suck big time. He always has to be on his toes. Lies upon lies upon lies all compounding on top of each other would make any person explode...or at the very least slip up. That dad comment really screwed him over. He's not going to be able to keep everything straight forever. The only part of Chance that she really knows is the attraction and chemistry that she instantly felt, but there's no depth there. That would suck to find out after everything you went through together.
craziebabe45 chapter 11 . 9/23/2011
A TATTOO? A MATCHING TATTOO? Okay I do not take back what I said about the last chapter. This girl is nuts. What kind of person gets the same tattoo as someone they have only known for a week and "think" they are in love with. She barely knows him it's puppy love. Real love takes time and trust and honesty and a deep connection from being with someone for a long time and understanding them completely. rawr

Okay my speal is over. Otherwise great chapter. I like how they are opening up together and how you keep making us wait for them to have sex. I feel just as much pain as they do I think waiting for them to have sex. ugh...sounds like a personal problem. lol
craziebabe45 chapter 10 . 9/23/2011
okay...no offense...I'm going to try to be nice about this chapter, but the end kind of made me want to vomit. You know I have this personal problem with being a closet romantic and also a rather disclosed realist. Just reading her use the "L" word so freely after what A WEEK? made we want to kick this girl in the face! I mean I think she might be as dumb as Lexi in someways lol. She went from freaking out about him having blood on his jeans, a grand in cash, sneaky people running around his house, cigarette smoke, a random scary guy's name in her brain that she has no idea who it is to...poof! Everything is better. I have my doubts about you, but even though you lied I can completely look past that because I want you inside of me. Just hurts me to read.

The sexy stuff was as always sexy, and I enjoyed that. I really like them together, but I think she's being a freaking idiot. She knows what he is capable of and yet she just eats up everything he feeds her. I know he's good, but is anyone THAT good. ugh...sorry have a personal problem with this chapter. I'm sure I'll get over it more as the book goes on.

You're writing is wonderful despite my dislike of the word love lol.
craziebabe45 chapter 9 . 9/23/2011
Oh man why does he have to be so lovable while also being a manipulative ass? You're killing me here. That scene was super hot. I like how he thinks of her as "neglected" I'm not sure why but that kind of makes me happy that he wants to make her feel good because of it. That must suck for her to not have had anyone that she could make a connection with. Then when she finally makes a connection (a hot and steamy connection against a wall outside of her work...and on his couch..and well everywhere) he turns out to be a criminal and conning her. Yet he really likes her and it's clearly tearing him apart.

Even though I know he's a criminal, I hate that he feels that he has to lie. That story was WAY over the top. Something that seems so unrealistic, but also who would lie about something like that? I think that's what makes it somewhat plausible. It is so farfetched that no one would question the reality of the situation. But grrrr...I want him to be honest with her. Then again I guess there wouldn't be a story if he was.

Off to the next chapter! can't wait!
craziebabe45 chapter 8 . 9/23/2011
Oh shit! That looks painful! I had a feeling that one of the other guys would be there when she got there. I literally had to keep the bottom of the page hidden so I wouldn't read ahead to see if I was right. I get so into it I just want to know what happened.

I love Neil! He makes my heart happy. In another story I'm working on, I have a gay best friend and he is soooo much fun to write. This line made me happy "Don't go all insecure-defensive-girl on me." because that is EXACTLY what she was doing.

I also really like how Mack's character is an every day kind of girl. So yeah she's gorgeous, but her emotions are so vivid. The whole angsty torn feeling is completley familiar to me (even though I'm not dating a criminal). I think that's what makes her character so likable, because even though she's doing something that is very atypical, her emotions are very real. Every girl can relate to wanting to take things low in the beginning becuase you're afraid of where this is going to go. If you can't tell this is exactly what I'm going through lol. (Is it bad that I want to lick him? lol)
craziebabe45 chapter 7 . 9/23/2011
Shannon I'm so sorry that I'm behind on your story. We both know how busy life is right now, but 10 chapters back is just unacceptable. I'm going to catch up I swear! lol

This chapter was great! As you are well aware I love multiple perspectives in stories. This reminds me of when we got to hear Kai's own inner turmoil (oh how I miss him...). Chance has such a jacked up past that as much as you want to hate him for what he's doing to Makayla, you still kind of love him. Just like Kellan...you have a way with men. :) It broke my heart at the end when the truth came out about what his dad did to him. That's so messed up. You're doing a great job with making him really feel like a jaded criminal. I especially appreciated the pickpocketing aspect with the pawn shop and everything. Good stuff!
Sweets1103 chapter 17 . 9/23/2011
Wow, thank you so much for including more Adrian and Neil. Great bonus. And a very nice touch having Makayla recall their first time and what she thought when he was begging her to trust him. I also loved that Chance gave her a bit of the truth (his father) even if it was slid inside his mapped out lie. I love that he doesn't like lying to her and it gives me hope that she may be able to forgive him when the truth eventually comes out.

I am beginning to feel very restless and feel it's time for things to start coming out now. :)
sora kinomoto chapter 17 . 9/23/2011
First of all, sorry for my lack of reviews! Between the fact that I've been busy and my computer is broken and I'm reading on my netbook and I hate writing in it XD I haven't reviewed that much here.

I really like Makayla, and even if I know Chase really loves her, every chapter I read I imagine how she would feel like when she founds out all of his lies, it would be heartbreaking, and I can't wait for that to happen.

Thanks so much for updating so fast!
Terri Day chapter 17 . 9/22/2011
I swear, Makayla just has a way of showing up at the wrong place at the wrong time (or maybe it's the right place at the right time), that is the reson why I feel like she's gonna get hurt physically in the end... Plus she's stubborn as hell! I'm also looking forward to the explanation that Chance & Adrian are going to give her for this.
CMTaylor chapter 17 . 9/22/2011
And the plot thickens even more...how the heck are you going to end this and tie up all loose ends and still keep with the theme of a happy ending like your other books...which you better come up with a happy ending...lol.
Carmela Raven chapter 17 . 9/22/2011
Great chapter! I love seeing Chance's internal struggle and how he's revealing more of the truth to Makayla. She got lucky wth the neighbor and the first door she knocked on, but it's plausible and moves the story along. I can't wait to see how Chance explains his way out of this one!

I noticed somewhere in the middle there was a sentence that didn't make sense,"Chance paused for a moment on her neck, then returned his soft lips."
effortlessromantic chapter 17 . 9/22/2011
You and your cliffhangers haha. But.I love how you put cool little old ladies in your stories.

Seriously I cannot wait for the chapter when this robbery goes down. I wanna know how Mack is gonna react!

Will love conquer all? Or will her conscious be the bigger person? Ooh I can't wait!
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