Reviews for Not a Chance
reader25 chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
can't wait to read there discussion!
DofD chapter 12 . 10/2/2011
Bkimmer chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Hmm...I can see this going a few different directions and though I really want the happy ending (not sure how it would happen at this point), I will be okay with however it ends up as long as Makayla gives Chance the opportunity to explain...and that she actually listens. Her character tends to be a little...stubborn at times. I do like that she got to kick some ass in this chapter.

And Neil...I don't want him to be sad :( I hope things work out for him and Adrian too or that he at least finds out the truth :) And thank you, I definitely enjoyed this chapter!
Midnight113 chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Oooh! Interesting ending to this chapter. Now I"m super curious to see how things play out. I hope she listens to him. I really like how she quickly pieced everything together, that shows she's observant and smart which is what I like to see with main characters. It's sad how hurt she is and how she's even questioning if he ever loved her. I hope he can assure her in some way that it wasn't all a lie. Great job, can't wait for the next one! Update asap!
Mariposa-12 chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Wow! If this was Makayla's POV and it was so emotional, i can't imagine what Chance is going through. Next chapter will be amazing! I wonder who's POV you're gonna write it from. I loved it but i'm pretty sure i'll love the next one even more. Can't wait! Thanks for this!

; )
Guest chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Wow, another excellent chapter! I love how Makayla gets to be the hero and beat up Reggie and Garrett. I'm glad Neil finally knows about Adrian, and that Adrian got there in time to pick up Chance (and only Chance). It was perfect.

Then, when Mack and Neil give the police descriptions of Chance and Adrian, we really worry about how they're going to get out of town. It's a nice added layer of complication. When Chance shows up in Joseph's hospital room, we're a little surprised, but not really, because we know he knows how Makayla thinks and wants to see her before he leaves town. It's a great way to end the chapter, leaving us (as always) wanting more.

A few things I caught:

"He stood, a prideful smile on his face. "You are amazing, Makayla…I hope you don't give up on your dreams."

She stepped towards him, tazer clenched in her hand like brass knuckles. "I intend to, Colton.""

Really? She intends to give up on her dreams? Hee hee. I think you're missing an important word.

Shortly thereafter you mention "the red and blue flashing lights of the Calvary flew into the chaotic street." I think you mean the "Cavalry."

A bit later on, "Just as she'd told him with their final words to each other, so didn't intend to give up on her dream." In this sentence, "so" should be replaced with "she."

Also, I thought the paragraph where Makayla talks about how Joseph is her angel was a bit melodramatic. Maybe using the term 'guardian angel' instead of angel would make it a little less dramatic? I'm not sure what else. I got the sense that she was practically swooning over him (like she was about to literally swoon/faint she was so overcome with emotion) and that you were trying too hard to foreshadow a love triangle. But maybe I'm the only one who got that impression. I don't mean to belittle his heroic act; Makyala's response just seemed a bit over the top to me. Other than that little bit I really did love the chapter. Can't wait to read the next one!
Devilish Kisses chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Oh my god, Chance, gtfo!
spUNkyORanGE chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
AAHHHH update update update! I have to know what happens with those two. I want them to stay together :( Chance deserves to be happy and so does Makayla. I think Chance is right. She would make a good cop. I can't believe she just went after them like that. She almost got herself killed - twice. I dont know how they are going to make it work since Makayla just doesnt trust him anymore - atleast right now she doesn't. I can't wait to hear what he has to tell her UPDATES! Love your stories!
Sweets1103 chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Oh... my... cliffhanger! Great move having Chance be at the hospital, that way they can have the inevitable "explanations" discussion. I really hope everything, and I mean everything comes out. Mak already figured out the con but I hope Chance talks of his feelings now.

I really can't see how this can end with them together, given what he's done but I have faith that you can get them there. You've always been able to find the best ending with every single story you penned, even in impossible situations. Can't wait for this one.
craziebabe45 chapter 19 . 10/2/2011
Yay! I'm glad we're finally back to the beginning...erm the This was a great chapter. I love so much how you are showing this from both points of view. I'm glad that Chance did the job because he had to and not because he in any way wanted to. Thank God for Adrian too! That was a smart move. I wasn't expecting that at all. Bravo!
Terri Day chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Another cliffhanger (... I really hope Makayla can shut her mouth long enough to make him explain everything - & I'm probably being hypocritical here because I don't think I'd be able to just forgive something like that - but I hope she forgives him, I mean they belong together... please update soon
Fifi18 chapter 20 . 10/2/2011
Makayla is so impulsive. Fortunately, Joseph's injury was not fatal. But it was an unexpecting way to allow Chance a way out of this mess. Impressive indeed.

I just hoped that Makayla would give Chance a opportunity to explain himself but it is really sad to see them end their relationship this way.
MrsDavis chapter 20 . 10/1/2011
Awwwwww that damn cliffhanger!
Midnight113 chapter 19 . 9/29/2011
lol, WOW! I loved this chapter, this is the one I've been waiting for. I'm so excited I'm finally able to connect everything together with the prologue. It's been such an awesome ride full of lies, deceit and love. I've really been enjoying it. I love Adrian for helping out in the end by doing something so simple and effective. I hadn't even thought about it.

Every scene in this chapter was written and executed perfectly. You picked it up from the prologue and really made it flow very well. Now that I know who they are and what they share it makes things that much more interesting. I only hope that Makayla forgives him in the end and that they get a happy ending but I don't know, lol. Chance did redeem himself though, he did love her and he did change for her and try to protect her. I'm a little worried she won't see that positive end of the stick so to speak. Can't wait for the next one! Fantastic work!
Midnight113 chapter 18 . 9/29/2011
Whoa, Chance managed to get himself out of that one but I wonder how much longer before everything blows up. Looks like Garrett suspects and that's not good. Loved that confrontation with the three of them. It's cool knowing what's really going on but getting to experience it from different angles and getting to witness it all play out. Great job!
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