|Reviews for Operative 060|
| Boy at War chapter 2 . 7/10/2011
This will be good the ending was intriguing, I think it was far from what I was suspecting. I hadn't thought you would allow for Mark to get captured so early on in the story.
I think next chapter or whenever you have an interrogation would be a good time to reveal some things about the setting and characters in this story.
I still don't like the mechanics of Mark breaking into the reactor room and a small army of guards firing on him. It doesn't seem realistic that they would all have their guns trained on the door, ready for him if no one had known.
I think that if the guards were because someone ratted him out or something like that, then Mark should address it. A bit of surprise to walk into a room and get a hail of gunfire would be an understatement after an operative just killed two guys to make sure that he WASN'T noticed.
| Boy at War chapter 1 . 7/10/2011
I felt that at the ending it seemed far from subtle for Mark to barge into the next room the way he did. I would think that the loud noise might make one panicky guard trip the alarm, or at least I would.
I remember reading an article on ballistics once, from what I could get out of it suppressors don't make that soft little pift sound. Because of that I think your description of a muffled bark was a lot more accurate.
I think the opening was good for the story and that when this mission ends that this story will have lots of slpaining to do about what's going on.
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