|Reviews for Betrayal!|
| Pzychotic chapter 1 . 7/12/2011
wow i love this poem
it nails what betrayal feels like :D
i also really like your tone in the beginning, kind of furious and i like how you use "thou" and shakesperean language
however, one thing i would suggest is to keep that tone consistent because you later started to use "you"
unless your purpose was to make it sound like you were silvertongued then slowly revealed your less-formal self
for example in "hard spots i helped you throught"
the hard spots kinda knock the tone a little off
maybe try something like
challenging endeavors idk
anyways i hope this helped. keep up the awesome work!