|Reviews for Any Other Girl|
| Osnapitzashleyx chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
Wow. I'm impressed. It was sad when she started cutting herself though.:( But overall it was great:) Oh yeah this Nickelodeonfreakz from tumblr:)
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 8/29/2011
Hello, spotted you on Tumblr and thought I'd check your writing out. :)
You have a lot of potential here. It's pretty well-written and edited, with a solid idea where you want to take the story. I liked some of your more specific sentences, like 'She went to parties on Fridays, and slept in on Saturdays.' because they fleshed out Miranda immediately, without just being told 'Miranda was X type of girl.'
Description-wise, I felt this needed a bit more showing. The majority of the story, aside from the ending, is one big narration, rather than a series of scenes. I'm not saying the whole thing needs to be acted out either, as many of the details you put in narration would be just fine left that way, but putting in a few more scenes (for instance, show Miranda at a party, hanging out with her friends but feeling awkward, or having a conversation with someone and her mind interpreting everything they say as little insults hurled her way) will make the whole piece more active and interesting for readers. Some more specific and unique descriptions would also make this stand out a bit more; I enjoyed the comparison of the pills to pebbles, and wanted a few more bits like that. Quirky descriptions like that can help characterize Miranda without just saying it and it's always very cool to see done.
Overall, nicely done, though.