Reviews for Vanishing Act
JaveHarron chapter 15 . 10/10/2012
Okay, I've read all the way to the end here. Your conflict is getting more interesting, and you've merged some correct or realistic procedures with conventional tropes for some well done drama. Looking forward to the next chapter here.
Jave Harron chapter 10 . 10/10/2012
Okay, a minor quip on this chapter. The main character is sent to apprehend a suspect with no backup, one with a history of violence (or at least a few incidents we've seen before) and drug issues. Seems rather stupid.
Jave Harron chapter 9 . 10/10/2012
Okay, I'm intrigued by the story so far. The main character is believable and fairly well developed, as are the supporting cast. I'm reminded of the TV shows Fringe and NCIS, with the formula of a strange event and then a detective story following it. The military details are also well researched, and there's some nice colorful metaphors to describe much of the impressive hardware. The parts were the main character experiences weird stuff reminds me a bit of Lovecraft's Shadow Out of Time. I doubt our heroine is getting Yithed, though.
Daniel Cross chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
Nice story. Well written and interesting.

Looking forward to see some updates...
TheSilentWitness chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
To start things off, the story seems fairly well researched; navy/military workings must be of interest to you. On a more important note, I feel that some of your word choice and usage of commas could use some work, there were some areas where I felt your choice of wording could be improved on. Some of your commas are also placed in spots which make your writing rather choppy; although it's not that significant of a problem, it does somewhat affect the enjoyability of the reading experience.

Going directly into the plot, I think that it looks promising so far. The only complaints I'd like to raise are that an Ensign seems a rather low ranked naval officer to be manning the carrier control tower. Also you start off talking about the USS Iowa, but then switch to the USS Solomon without mentioning that it's an aircraft carrier, which could potentially cause some confusion with readers less familiar with naval/military workings. Perhaps some clarification could be put in that section to help clear things up.

Overall though, I think that this is a good effort that shows some promise, and I look forwards to seeing what you do with the story from here.