|Reviews for Snowflakes in the Avalanche|
| Ruby Kart chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
Definitely keeps up the trademark 'Tathwem' I'm used to :) The elaborate use of vocabulary and the theme of the story are very much yours! It feels like your trying to rewrite 'Earning Wings' just by the use of similar names and story lines and such.
The beginning paragraph just struck me as a little stringy. You have SOOO many complex sentences all mixed together. Don't be afraid to throw in a simple one now and again just to make sure that you don't create a stringy style of writing. Your dialogue is STILL so formal - but it's another trademark of your writing.
When you continue this story, I want you to REALLY think about what you're trying to get across. I know that bullying is a VERY big issue on your heart, and probably always will be. You put forth those elements very well, and it's simple enough where we can empathize with the characters. But, at the same time, you have to be careful that you don't overdo it - it can make the writing sappy and actually turn readers off your writing. People will occassionally feel that you are harping on a topic so much, that it loses the potency you are trying to convey.
I know that what you write comes from your heart, and that's why I feel your pain and understand your passion. Another thing you might want to take into account though is that not everyone will have the same reaction, or even the reaction you're hoping for. Remember WHO your audience is, and write TO them, instead of AT them. People will enjoy what you write and read it with an open mind and open heart if you write on their level.
Keep writing with a purpose, but make sure that your audience will be able to understand that purpose as well. There are a plethora of books out there that deal with bullying and suicide. When it's done wrong - you never want to read anything like that again. When it's done right - you finsih the bok with a sense of knowledge, grief, and deeper insight. 'Thirteen Reasons Why' by Jay Asher is a wonderful story! I cried after reading it and felt sick for days - but that's because the story was written properly and with the ability to bring those emotions out. 'By The Time You Read This I'll Be Dead' is another really good one. Not as good as the aforementioned, but good nonetheless. It also gives a new glimpse into suicide and bullying. (Which I'm very sure is where you're going with this story).
I am sorry it's taken me so long to review. I have been caught up with last minute college preparations and just the everyday summer business. Plus, I've got a lot of friends/relationship funk going on and it's really driving me nuts! lol
I'd love to see where yout ake this Tathwem, but I know what your writing is capable of and I'm challenging you to take it to a different level. Make your writing full of the passion you feel, so your readers will feel it too :)
- Ruby Kart