|Reviews for Under the Red Umbrella|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/27/2021
Hi i'm Shaeril McBrown
i need help
i'm being harassed by a teacher named Lisa Ware-Krantz
she is a 49 year old pedophile
she flames me on my fanfiction account and calls my stories pigshit
she sends me death threats through emails and text messages
she rapes me and tells me to kill myself
i want to kill myself so she can't bully me anymore
please help me report her
she lives at 3662 Juniper Hills Drive, Rockwall, Texas 75032
her phone numbers are 972-771-0893 and 214-437-0250
her emails are lwarekrantz at hotmail dot com and lisa dot ware hyphen krantz at rockwallisd dot org
she works at rockwall-heath high school
they have an anonymous tip line where you can complain about her
here’s the site:
www dot rockwallisd dot com/Page/10702
i tried using it but i can't get a response
i don't know what else to do
please make her leave me alone
| Lady Seratopia chapter 1 . 1/12/2014
What a sweet story! Are you a pro Japanese language speaker?
| Katrina Elisse Caudle chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
This is a sweet story.
Around the part where she tells him she's getting married, and then leaves him at the door - there's a bit of a tense change in your writing (you switch from present to past). It's a bit jarring.
I think I've only heard Natsuki being a girl's name. I'm not sure if it's true, but I thought I'd mention that I thought it was funny.
You might want to consider how you introduce information to the reader and how it affects the flow of reading.
For example, "My parents nod. 'We know, but we're here for you', the nod says."
It would probably flow better to use something to describe what the nod means, like for example "My parents nod, their support and sympathy in the gesture."
Another example ~ ""We hadn't meant to bring this up until a little closer to the time" -Keiko and I are second years- "and we did mean..."
It might be a bit easier to read if the parent gives that information, instead of the narrator.
Ex ~ "We hadn't meant to bring this up until a little closer to the time. I know you and Keiko are only in second year"..
It's a bit easier to read when the continuity isn't interrupted. :)
"She precedes me out onto the porch and I open Aka-san like any other day -but this is not any other day, I whisper to myself. " ~ This is a really great line _
I really liked the sentiments and emotional tension in this story. Thank you for sharing!
| valderois chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
Wow. This was absolutely beautiful! I love the relationship between the two of them; something so simple was able to become something beautiul. Your writing style for this story was really good too; it's descriptive, his inside comments are great, and it was just overall interesting to read. I hope to read more from you soon!
| Sheaver chapter 1 . 7/23/2011
WoW~! I really enjoyed this!
:D But it was kinda expected that they're gonna be together... :D But still I enjoyed it a lot! And the way the protagonist define or describe the situation is very nnice!
:D I hope to get something from you again! Make something interesting like this again! :DDDDD
Hope you write again!
I'm faving this btw... :3