Reviews for Controlling the Elements: A Tale of Two Brothers
Tina95 chapter 14 . 4/28/2012
Well, this certainly is problematic. Firebreath over there is a jerk and working together will be... interesting to say the least.

But it seems as though they must. Brilliantly written! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Tina95 chapter 13 . 3/24/2012
My mood has just been saddened a little. It was a great chapter though and I can't wait to read the next one!
Hikari no Vikki chapter 13 . 3/11/2012
Quite compelling... you haven't lost you touch it seems. I hope your writer's block doesn't come back, because I'm hooked!

Keep doing whatever you're doing, friend.

(I'm sure FictionPress was just having an off day... :D)

- Hikari no Vikki
Tina95 chapter 12 . 3/8/2012
I love the intensity of this chapter. Wonderfully written.

Two small things I want to point out. The word "careless" is missing the second e. Also, the pagebreaks are missing, which makes the transitions between scenes a little jarring. Neither is big and I'm sure neither was intentional, but I thought I'd point them out.

Anyway, like I said earlier, this is a wonderful chapter and I can't wait to read the next one!
Tina95 chapter 11 . 12/19/2011
It's a test, isn't it? To see how long he can withstand his worst nightmare? Whether he would be able to kill his brother if it was necessary?

Hmmm... Interesting dream. That's got to be the King's daughter... Hmmm...

Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
Tina95 chapter 10 . 12/13/2011
I smell a romance, haha. :)

A lot of interesting information has been given out. They'll have to find two more children, it appears. And figure out what happened to the King's daughter...

Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
Tina95 chapter 9 . 11/6/2011
Hmmmm... Interesting... He's really starting to pick up his powers, I see...

Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
Tina95 chapter 8 . 10/30/2011
I haven't read this in a while, unfortunately. I see I missed some really good stuff and I'm glad I have time again.

Hmmm... Each of the children wields an element, it seems. Or, at least, Luke and Reina do. There are probably three more that wield light, air, and fire... Maybe Aron is one...?

Anyway, great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
Hikari no Vikki chapter 3 . 8/1/2011
I love how this story has such clarity to it. It's much different than your last one. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this. :)

Hikari no Vikki
Tina95 chapter 3 . 7/31/2011
Oh... Hm... Interesting. A new character, of course, and an interesting story behind it. The chapter was rather vague on circumstances but I'm assuming that's the point...

Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!
Hikari no Vikki chapter 2 . 7/26/2011
Okay, so this is going to be in a modern setting... did you detail what the girl in the prologue was wearing, because that might help give the readers a sense of the time. I don't recall you describing what the brothers were wearing either...

It's not necessary to detail what every single person is wearing every few paragraphs, just slid the occasional reminder here and there so the readers can get a clearer picture.

Other than that, I eagerly await the next chapter... was there some reason both brothers needed to pull the sword? Or does the older brother get some sort of weapon in the future? Does he turn to the dark side, lose his brother and take over for the sword... (just throwing out ideas if you haven't figured anything out.)

Good luck to you. :)

Hikari no Vikki
Hikari no Vikki chapter 1 . 7/25/2011
"Can we keep it?" Talk about a major LOL.

Anyway, I really like this. It has a greater clarity than I expected and it flows pretty well. The only thing I would suggest (aside from making sure you're holding down the shift button when you press '!' ) is that you put in markers or page breaks for places where the story shifts. It's kind of disorienting to some people when the scene shifts suddenly without a page break or some such to warn them.

But everything else looks great. If you plan this well and keep the story and its characters from being too perfect, you'll be good to go. :D

Hikari no Vikki
Kaitlyn Amber chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
I always enjoy reading your stories, and I just love the main plot of this magnificent story. I absolutely love the sentence of, "Have faith, child. For this is just the beginning of dawn that will come to vanquish the night." Faith makes it all real! Love it!