Reviews for A Moment
SpawnMeister666 chapter 1 . 7/27/2011
This could be the start of something interesting, but there are a lot of grammatical errors that need to be ironed out to prevent them from distracting from the story. Extra words in sentences where they aren't needed, for example.

I almost get the impression that you're trying too hard with this, trying to impress people with your ability to play with words. Sometimes that can be a good thing, but sometimes it's better to keep it simple.

I think this suffers a little because it just isn't simple enough.

Spawny
ebonylight01 chapter 1 . 7/27/2011
It was well-written and very remarkable. The beginning was quite puzzling and mysterious no wonder I can’t stop thinking of what's this story all about especially what shall happen next….I’ll be waiting for your next update..:))
Ms.Sweet Pea chapter 1 . 7/26/2011
Well done! This was definitely lovely and I feel hidden messages in this. I got the idea of the rain as a setting that the character was used to since obviously he was walking in the rain instead of finding shelter and then this girl appears right after the light flickering offering a type comfort. Then at the end still raining but lights flickered signaling hope, opportunities? Very interesting I like the ending the best because it was more calm and smiled through the rest as the girl hooked him in her arm and walked away with him.
avril123lover chapter 1 . 7/25/2011
This is really good so far! I love your use of vocabulary, very detailed and very colorful (despite your characters being in a storm). Please continue, your story has this air of mystery around it, and I would love to know what happens next! Oh, and thank you for taking the time of reading my story, "Perspective." I appreciate it wholeheartedly.