|Reviews for Tails to tell|
| Maggie odonoghue chapter 2 . 6/20/2013
This seems similar to H2O (does anyone remember that?)
| klaralouw chapter 21 . 9/4/2012
An amazing story:) I loved your dialogue so much :D xxx
| Nyx'sReincarnation chapter 21 . 8/18/2012
Wow. what an ending. Great story!
I'd suggest you explain more about the whole charms thing, and maybe she could learn to create them?
You also spell "review" wrong when you ask for them... LOL
Keep up the great work! :) (:
| j chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
couldn't get past the first chapter, seemed too unrealistic to be readable.
I see that writers often want to portray their protagonists as perfect - unable to be fazed, can't die, can't get hurt, things like that. Every protagonist has to have some sort of fatal flaw, they can't always be right, but they can't be annoying too (which your protag seems to be on the path for)...
there needs to be more depth to your character and your plot.
Just some criticism.
| Hazel chapter 2 . 3/29/2012
It's so... unrealistic. No, not in the sense that mermaids are mythological creatures; what I mean is that the reactions and effects of the turn of events on the protagonist (Claire) is very, VERY unrealistic. No sense. Think about it. Put yourself in her shoes. You found out that you'd been turned into a mermaid; what would you do? Like Claire, would you really just shrug it off as though it's a natural occurrence and just trudge back in your house, carefree and happy? Please. That's just... unbelievable in a very different level. I'm sorry but I'd given up on reading after the second chapter.
In case you have any form of reply, you can send me an email in hazel_996 yahoo . com. I don't have an account in fictionpress due to sloth reasons.
| SDee chapter 21 . 3/14/2012
Anonymous spelled correctly.
Congrats on completing your 2nd book. Someday you will complete the series of Tails to Tell and maybe they will become a triology at the movies! Your book can easily be turned into a script.
Ps - I was very happy that Claire did not die.
| DesertOrchidx chapter 3 . 3/5/2012
Hey, I've read some of the story and I agree with the person who said it lacks flow beacuse it does, sorry. I'm enjoying your story sure but there are a few things that bother me the flow being one, another is the guy who attacked her how can he not believe in anything mythical but still hate mermaids? Surely you have to believe in something to hate it. And another thing confuses me is how did she fall, was it like off a cliff or something? You didn't really explain it. Also (sorry to go on) is that you haven't really described claire yeah in appearence but not in her views.
Please don't be annoyed about my critisisms I only want to help :)
| Jasmine Syms chapter 6 . 3/2/2012
I'm just trying to help here, but if a name is going to be the Royal's and only the Royal's, it needs to be more uncommon than Rivers. And, the story lacks in flow and sounds detached whenever you swap ideas like that, with wow, your a fish then two seconds later hes angry...
And I don't feel as if any of the characters are relateable, it seems as if you are just poking and prodding them to fit the story instead of leaving the ending open. The characters become two dimensional stale puppets.
But I'm just trying to help.
| Anonymus Author chapter 20 . 2/27/2012
So, this was the first story I read on your profile, and it's almost over! How sentimental! I don't even remember how I found this profile, considering I go on FanFiction a lot more often.
But you are so good at writing stories. You take these tell-tale myths of mermaids and witches and psychics and angels and give them a contemporary twist with modern-age dilemas, like keeping secrets and running away from home. You're stories are very infectious, and I can tell your name will be on the bookshelfs really soon.
| VeiledRaven chapter 19 . 2/24/2012
UPDATE SOON I LOVE THE STORY
| sunblaze chapter 2 . 2/23/2012
Really good! I think you could use a few more adjectives, but no biggie. Also, at one point you ment to say we'll and instead you wrote well. Ah well, keep updaten
| Jasmine Syms chapter 1 . 2/22/2012
Well, there are a bunch of grammatical errors, and it is kind of frowned upon to use a word or group of words, "too late", so close together. I also think that the breaking from the story to say the name of the character breaks any kind of connection to the story. It prevents you from getting wrapped up in the scene, and reminds you that this is, well, being narrated by Claire, and not happening. If it was happening, Claire wouldn't pause time, smile to her audience, and say "I'm Claire, by the way."
| SDee chapter 19 . 2/22/2012
Great story. Don't stop now!
| Dancer of Words chapter 18 . 2/13/2012
Why the heck does she have a GUN? I thought you had to be a certain age, and that certain age is not fourteen!
| SDee chapter 18 . 2/13/2012
Do you really need the weapon? This book got good a long time ago. Time to bring it all together!