|Reviews for Finally|
| KBeezy chapter 3 . 6/5/2012
Okay, so I probably won't write as epic of a review as p& p, but I'll try. ( I'm not really used to writing reviews.)
( well, when I finished the first chapter, I didn't know what to do next, because I'm a newbie, but I eventually found the second chapter.
I liked the story. You know me, a sucker for cheesy romantic stories :)
I didn't like chads character. I didn't know if it was that there was very little information on him or what... I don't think that it was the amount of information, because the few things that I did find out about him didn't make me fall in love with him or anything, I don't really know how helping someone on a calc problem would make them attractive, but maybe im the only one who feels like that
I didn think that jules seemed That much like a creeper..: I feel like the whole following the girls to the mall was almost normal, because he felt left out, but the hiding behind a plant thing was like a stereotypical creeper... I could just imagine his eyes peering above the plant. At that point, he went from an understandable feeling left out positiOn to major creeper status...
I thought that evangeline was a cute character... I liked her whole speech about how she loved the image of chad, but not actually chad...( she kinda reminded me of you, because she's super shy and humble :))
I don't know about krissa yet, I feel like at the end of the story, she was kinda settling with chad even though she didn't actually like him,
I feel like the social hierarchy of the school should have been mentioned a little, maybe that's just because I like things pointed out to me... I know that krissa is very social and Julian is a class clown (or at least what I interpreted)... I don't know if any of them are " cool kids" ( but I guess that doesn't really matter, especially at our school.) even though they're all friends doesn't mean that they are all the same on the social ladder. At first, I thought that krissa was popular and chad was one of her popular fiends, that's why angel would like him... So, from my perspective, I like how the two " not as popular" ended up together, and the focus was on them,( I feel like too many stories are based on becoming popular.)
Maybe I interpreted it all wrong, but from what I read, I really liked it
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Great story! It was interesting to read(:
| SwimmingThroughExistance chapter 3 . 11/15/2011
aww! that was so amazing and cute:) i loved it
| i know what you mean jellybean chapter 3 . 8/7/2011
WELL FINALLY. HEY DERE MON BRO. ITS MEEEE
i already reviewed before. heheh just boosting your ego :)
| peanuts and paydays chapter 3 . 8/6/2011
Oh hay dere girlfrannnnd. I like the little mention of me. Except next time you should really type out my whole name because like I “typed out an entire oneshot of a review”. Know what I mean? ;) AND DUH I TYPED OUT A ONESHOT OF A REVIEW FOR YOU. HOW ELSE WOULD I REVIEW THIS STINKIN’ AWESOME STORY!
By the way I’m super excited to read Mission Almost Impossible. Chad here I come!
[“Finally.”] Well. I guess I can see where the title came from… hahaha.
The third sentence bothers me though. It seems like something someone might write in like an essay. […because Krissa had insisted…] the because in the middle kind of throws me off. I would maybe suggest the because coming in the beginning “Because Krissa had incessantly insisted on doing their hair and makeup, Gel had agreed to meet at Krissa’s house, mostly to get her best friend to stop bugging her.” Or something like that. Yesiree.
She blew a freaking raspberry? WTF IS WRONG WITH HER MOM hahahahahaha. Seriously though that made me laugh.
IT’S GEL NOT ANGEL YOU SILLY KRISSA.
HAHA thick eyeliner and blush. Oh Krissa. Don’t’ you know Gel’s so… not thick eyeliner & blush material? You silly kookaburra. (Shut up I don’t even know where kookaburra came from OKAY!)
[Evangeline Jonson truly looked beautiful.] Change it. To Gel Jonson truly looked beautiful duhhh. But I also have a complaint- it’s just cheesy, you know what I mean? Eheh, but yeah I guess cheesiness is needed in this cheesy story. Just kidding. But really. Hey déjà vu? I remember you describing Katie like that. Except this time you didn’t have her fondling over her boobs and going ‘OH EM GEEE I HAVE BOOBS!” bahahah.
Aw, she does sound cute looking though :D
Oooooh Gel’s going off thinking about Creeper boy!
Whoa man, Krissa in a red dress? Very bold statement. Good for you.
Oy. I have no complaints about her descending down the staircase but if I was Gel, I’d be so freaking awkward. Like seriously. Inmovies, books, etc, there’s always that moment before they go to the freaking dance and she’s like freaking descending down the freaking staircase and everyone’s staring at her and people are like “whoaaaa” and wouldn’t you just feel awkward! I WOULD. :DDDD
Anyway. Moving on..
Creeper boy ogling Gel. Doesn’t surprise me now, hmph.
Hahah for some reason the thought of her flouncing outside to the car makes me laugh. Oh Gel!
[“You look beautiful tonight,” he breathed into her ear, “Angel.”] nononono Julian, it’s GEL and aren’t you a creeper for breathing into her ear. I mean how do you think she’s going to react? You freaking like huffed and puffed into her EAR!
Bahahha just kidding. I really enjoy making fun of Creeper Boy, you know. Don’t take offense at it ;) But he is sweet I guess.
[Longing… for what?] Oh don’t be so naïve you silly Gel. GET WITH THE PROGRAM. “JULES” LOVES YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. JULES AND GELLLL SITTIN’ IN A TREE… hehehe
I do like the sentence [Why, why, why didn’t Chad make her heart beat faster anymore?] It shows her transitioning her feelings so I know I’m not going to see a very weird transition from her unrealistically realizing that she loves Julian or something. Velly good deary :D
But isn’t Gel supposed to be shy? Lol I find it funny that SHE’S dragging CHAD onto the dance floor. And then admitting that she used to like him but not anymore. Just a thought. And also I thought the part where she was confessing her feelings to him was a little too fast but I guess I can kind of see the point you’re trying to make. I think it might help if you wrote a little more about her clearly realizing her feelings for Julian more, yes?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [I’ve never seen her before -] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD MAN. AHHHHH
HAHA Chad pouring his heart out. But really. That was a bit dramatic. I guess it works though, seeing as how we don’t really know much about Chad. Maybe he’s a dramatic guy? Hmmm. Also I find it a little odd that Krissa’s going to get over Chad so fast [You know, I think I might just fall in love with you after all.] I get that she’s going to want to get over Julian but from my view, she’s kind of the type of girl to go after what she wants… I don’t know if it’s realistic for her to try and get over Julian before REALLY realizing that they weren’t meant to be.
Don’t take any of this the wrong way m’dear! I’m trying to help :))))))) I do enjoy the story, if not the characters. :DDD (Chad’s my favorite actually. Eheheh Krissa’s 2nd.)
Cute ending :) Me like this story, yes.
NOW ONTO CHAD’S STORY. YAAAAAY!
| Lynn Blake chapter 3 . 8/6/2011
Just.. Wow. I really enjoy the way you write. You're absolutely awesome in this story. The entire way I was rooting for Julian. Maybe it's because I just really like that name. ;) You did a really good job. Kudos! You're definitely one of my favorites!
| Nicole Amor chapter 2 . 8/2/2011
I really like this story. It's wonderful, and with Julian and Evangeline getting closer by the second, I can't help but feel sad for the inevitable heartbreak Krissa and Chad are gonna face - reading on! Keep up the great writing! AJA AJA FIGHTING! )
| The Siege chapter 2 . 8/1/2011
I'm gonna review myself again, just cuz it's easier to reply to p&p AND make me seem like I have another review. I'm so devious. Who am I talking to again? Anyways.
Soooo sorry I haven't been online all day, today was a...weird day, somehow. I dunno how to explain. Oh well. Hope you had fun at SAT class. Tell me tomorrow. :D
BAHAHAHA and you didn't quite quote me because I said EVANGELINE not GEL, I mean really. Goodness.
Hahaha, of course you would. No need for beauty when you're just gonna live with 70 or so dogs right? (Plus un hubby. Duh. Haha)
I KNOWWW $200 ME WANT ME WANT
IKR I WAS LIKE WHAAAAAAAAA (wait but I wrote it...) AND YEAH REBEL REBEL REBEL (but you know we wouldn't. We'd totally go. And we'd have a blast going shopping. Hahahahaha)
OH SHUT UP. HE'S IN LOOOOOVE, HAS BEEN IN LOOOOOOVE FOR MANY YEARS BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN BFFLS FOR HOW ONG NOW? HMM? HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? 11 YEARS, MAN. THAT'S RIGHT, 11. SO HE GETS SOME STALKING RIGHTS OKAY? And plenty of time to fall in LOVE - yes, LOVE - with her. :D
Hahahaha sorry. IDK didn't I do my spaced ellipsis?
Sigh. Well, can't be perfect I guess. Poo. I happen to like Julian! He's sweet! I think!
Oh crap. No. Must edit. Ew.
HAHAHAHAHA IKR AHH KRISSA SO REFRESHINGLY ROUNDABOUTLY BLUNT
Urgh. Fixing, fixing...
Haha both of them got some coolness points? Excellent. Bahaha
Oh hey. So which characters DON'T you like? I have to say, Krissa, Chad, and Angel kinda peeve me just slightly. Haha. I love Julian. But they're all still my babies so I love them despite their peeving ways. Mostly.
I know, poor Chad. Minor character. Ah well. If I ever decide to edit...
This is the longest chapter so don't worry. Next chapter is shorter! (By a whole 2 pages or so in Word, I think!)
And I'm sorry about the Chadlessness, guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing, all of you!
| peanuts and paydays chapter 2 . 8/1/2011
Second chapter review, finally, huh? :PP Get online, by the way.
I would suggest (if you were to ever edit) maybe adding a more exciting sentence? Something like [Gel stared at her figure in the full length mirror.] just really doesn’t attract me…
HAHAHA [because really, who in their right mind would want to look ugly?] that would be me kind sir. Just kidding. Huh. I’ve always thought Krissa was more of a blonde girl’s name. Oh well. Hahah, her choice of wardrobe. Oh Gel. :) TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! MAN I WANT THAT MONEY. MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ‘ROUND, ya know?
I enjoy the word ogling.
[… so we’ll have more time to hit, like, all the shops.] - that is something WE’D say when we go shopping bahahah. OH YES.
EW A SCHOOL DANCE IS MANDATORY? WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS? I WOULD REBEL. SERIOUSLY. GEL, YOU CAN REBEL WITH ME. LIKE, NOW. I also agree with gel’s reasons why it’s totally stupid. :D
Why Bryony? How do you even pronounce that, dear Siege? Bahaha. Oh gosh, Gel’s figured it out. SHE’S SO SUPER SMART AHAHA. [Oh my god, it was this store!] Silly Krissa. Oh dear. Oh gosh, Gel, I totally feel you. Dress shopping is NOT fun. At all.
Okay, remember when I told you that Julian in that French video was a total creeper? I’m now convinced these two are the same people. WHO STALKS HIS BEST FRIEND AT THE MALL! Hahahah. Geez Julian, way to be more obvious about your Gel-crush. You are SO going to break Krissa’s heart. And geez, talking about LOVE ALREADY! JULIAN YOU CREEPER.
Hey now… where did Chad Lawrence come from? And Gel, don’t you know you’re in love with creeper-boy? Not Chad? But whatever floats your boat m’dear. I have one suggestion—where DID Chad come from? Like did he just drive to the mall or something when Krissa asked him to? It’s a bit strange and I feel like you could’ve explained it more please. :D
[“Always.”] BAHA JULIAN YOU CREEPER. GEL I WOULD SOOO RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW. By the way, I enjoyed the argument quite a lot. Buuut for some reason the last two lines don’t satisfy me… and I can’t seem to place why. Either way, you should definitely change the last line to “Julian likes Gel.” Has such a better ring to it ;)
[Jealousy tends to have that kind of effect on people.] you changed from present tense to past. Sorry, had to point it out. Research paper editing comes with that now :DD ahahah
[readily agreed. ""'Course you can. Though I dunno why it's him, but yes, you can do this."] One two many quotation marks there huh?
[… as if she suddenly thought of something. “Hey, I don’t have a date either! Wanna go together?] BAHAHA KRISSA. WAY TO BE BLATANTLY OBVIOUS… BUT OF COURSE CREEPER GUY DOESN’T EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE HE’S TOO BUSY BEING IN LOVE WITH GEL.
Sorry I’m making fun of your characters a little bit. I’m not a particular fan of some of them.. .but I AM a fan of your writing!
GEL HAS A SCARF. COOLNESS POINTS INCREASED.
Lime green carpet huh? Well… that’s actually cool. I guess creeper guy’s coolness points aren’t negative anymore ;D WHOA WHOA WHOA [Quick as a flash… His emerald eyes stared intently into hers, as if searching for something.] GEEZ CREEPER GUY. WAY TO BE CREEPY!
I’ve never been a fan of that line “Or was it?” But it’s okay I guess. :)
Okay. So Gel wants to make Chad fall in love with her. Krissa wants to make Creeper-guy fall in love with her. Creeper-guy wants to make a totally oblivious Gel fall in love with him. I so vote for Chad. By the way, I feel like you haven’t explained much of Chad. Like who he really is. So if you ever decide to edit, I would add a little something for him, yes?
All in all, pretty good chapter! Very long though. I’m on my third page in Word. Wtf. Anyway, UPDATE SOONNNNN (bahahahah)
| my princess ending chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
Good beginning. :DD That's all I'm gonna say 'cause I really wanna read chapter 2. :DD
| Snaps4You chapter 2 . 7/31/2011
Really great story! I love how Evangeline's and Julian's relationship is growing and their feelings for each other are starting to show. However, I would really like to see more of Krissa and Chad and their insight (feelings) towards each other. I am interested to find out more about Chad because so far in this story his character and really anything about him is fairly unknown. So I would love to see more of him and maybe a POV of him perhaps. This is a fantastic story, though, so keep up the great work! Please update soon!
| KatKatrina chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
this is really good. i like how "Evangeline"'s nickname is "Angel" because of the story about that name, i'm guessing? anyway, you write really well. continue!
| Pzychotic chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
Oh Jesus Christ,
I'll never beat that review. Btdubs, whats up, peanuts and paydays? :D
My favorite part was probably the male species part. That was freaking clever!
IDK what else to say, b/c p&p (can I call you that?) already pointed out most of the stuff so yeah. I don't wanna be a drag.
Well, I can't wait for more :D It's good to read something light and happy and cute and romancy for a change.
| The Siege chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
Oh lookee me, I'm reviewing my own story! Hahaha!
Anyways, wow this was amazing! Excellent! Please update soon (huhuhu)!
Okay anyways, ms. peanuts and paydays, It was gonna be "Johnson" at first but I just had to change it cuz it was simply too normal. Haha.
I KNOW, AREN'T THEY, THOUGH? CUUUUTE
Haha, yup, I was like "Julian's the coll guy type, so he has to say yo" so yeah. He did.
TEEHEE OH KRISSA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I MEAN HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE GIGGLE GIGGLE BUB GIGGLES HAHA
Krisis her nickname, duh. Wasn't it used already? Yeah, remember "Yo, Angel, Kris!" Hellooo
Gel? Hahahaha sure - NO FREAKING WAY SHE IS EVANGELINE OR ANGEL BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY AND GEL SOUNDS SO STUPID LIKE HAIR GEL OR JELLO LIKE WHAAAA NO
IKR? Big stomach, man...and baggy clothes are comfy, PAP (that's you).
Hahahahahaha you're the devious one since it was YOUR idea! :D
| peanuts and paydays chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
Oy vey. Here comes the longest review ever.
I’m even typing on word because once you get to a limit on the fp thing it goes all wacko. So here we go.
Jonson’s spelled weird. To me, anyway.
Aw, what a cute friendship! That ol’ cliché of being best friends since kindergarten!
[“Yo, Angel, Kris! Wait up!”] Ohh, I see, Julian trying to act cool with his yo’s huh? Hey did you know Julian’s a French name? Like in French class we watch these unit videos and there’s a Julian and he’s TOTALLY A HUGE CREEPER. BAHAHAHAHA. Okay. So yeah that’s kind of how I envision him..
Lol, Jules is such a girly nickname ;D
Where did the nickname Angel come from? Like it doesn’t really sound like Evangeline, but whatever. It’s a nickname anyway.
[I’d love to be called that.] hah, that Krissa, hinting something at Julian ;)
I love that Evangeline’s eye twitches. And that Julian snickered at her. AND DIDN’T GIGGLE BECAUSE BOYS DON’T GIGGLE.
[Surely Kris must be…] Do you mean Krissa? Or is Kris her nickname? Just wanted to point it out just in case that was a mistake.
Hahah, a creature of the male species. How naïve you silly Evangeline. Hey, can I just call her Gel? It’s much shorter and it makes me laugh! Anyway, oh Gel, can’t you tell that Julian likes you? Halfway through the page and I already know! And Julian, don’t you know Krissa likes YOU?
Geez Gel, eating a large pizza by yourself? I’d have thrown up by the 8th slice. :D Hahahaha and why do you like baggy clothes dear Gel? (this nickname is really fun.)
Hm, I like Krissa. She’s very straight forward with her insults.
Anyway, there’s really not much to say about chapter because it was basically like a filler prologue thing. Maybe you could’ve added a little more to get the plot going, but you did decide to cut it into 3 sections soooooo…
AND JULIAN. STOP BEING SO OBVIOUS ABOUT YOUR CRUSH ON GEL. GEL’S NAÏVE.
Well I guess it’s not the longest review because…. Well you told me to cut it into 3 separate reviews to get 3 reviews instead of one. You devious girl, you.