Reviews for Gastrolith
paralian chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
love the ending of each stanza. love the rhythm. it all works.

new to fictionpress, i would love for you to check out the 1 work i have posted thus far
Adrenalin chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
I really like the sound of "brushing unseen things", I thought it was really neet. Actually I like the repetition of the 's' sound through the first stanza.

The rhythm may be erratic but it didn't bother me, because there's an inherent one into your verses. I thought it fit well (like the s and ing sounds in the first stanza, sight/lights in the second).

I'm also fond of the way you finished each stanza with a single word, and all those words sounding pretty much the same.
lalala445 chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
I thought it was beautifully written but short. I would have liked to read more! It was still god! Oh, and By the way, what's a mothwing?
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
TBH, I don't know what a mothwing is and why not moth? Nevermind. The poem is electrifying, especially the third stanza. Good 'm' alliteration keeps the verse juicy and flowing. The imagery is somewhat vague and dangerously divergent. Insects and sea don't add up in my book. More unity would have given this poem a boost in terms of effect. Still, you have managed to dress a fairly cliched story in a captivating, electric cocoon of poetic bliss.
Laoch chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
:) I think that, even though the rhyming was erratic, it works in a beautiful way. My favorite part is when you talk about the mothwings, because its such a simplistic yet powerful description. I really enjoy reading your poetry; it's very good!
Stonecreek chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
The rhythm works somehow. I think the divergent line lengths help the reader keep going with the flow you intended. This poem is quietly beautiful, and the second stanza is my favorite. Thank you for reviewing my poem, and I look forward to reading more of yours.