Reviews for Lackluster
in theory chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
It's funny, poetry about being unable to write seems to come naturally to everyone at some point. I found the enjambment in this a little excessive, not the fact that it's there more the actual point where you break the lines. It's not consistent, with some lines being broken before the verb, and some after, it leaves my eye and mental voice a bit unfocused.

wings clipped and not pruned/motley

this part was also a little grammatically wobbly for me, it's an unnatural construction. Really (at least in my mind) it should be

Will they return,

wings clipped and unpruned

motley with their dishevelled feathers?

The question mark is equally as essential, again in my opinion.

Overall I enjoyed the woodland-ique motif to this, and of course the subject matter I identify with! I think it's my second favourite starting point when trying to write hehe!