Reviews for Alaina
Javajive chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
I was going to review your August WCC piece but then I read this one and was just blown away.

I loved the passage about the sky and the grass not being in synch with her loss. There is something insulting to see how the world/weather doesn't care that you are falling apart. It just goes on. It's bizarre but somehow you expect it to be grey and gloomy on a funeral, just as you expect fair weather on a funeral.

Another part that I really loved was the description of the room mate in contrast with Alaina. How she is 'everything they told her'. I like how you can fit so much information into such a short piece. You tell just enough and the rest you let your reader imagine.

Your last line resonated with me, trying to convince herself that she's 'young at heart'. Just hauntingly beautifully crafted. Good luck on the WCC, I am certain you'll do very well judging from the quality of your writing.

-Java
too.much.of.water chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
My god, you're brilliant. There really isn't much I can say. The life-goes-on theme is beautiful, really gorgeously expressed and the entire story is dark and wonderfully written. Good job L)
IndifferentIgnorance chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
This is really well written! It's not hugely detailed, but I can picture everything, and there aren't any gaps. It's the right amount of description and plot :)