|Reviews for Apple|
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 19 . 12/22/2014
I say yes! Toshiro and Anita should just be a couple! Go for it! GO GO GO!
Curtis and Max, the comedic duo. I couldn't stop laughing at their antics. They are the best! Especially when Teresa asked for Curtis's name, and Max kept saying, "Toshiro." And Curtis not knowing who the kidnapped boy was made it even more hilarious. Robert? Wait, what?! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Great job with this chapter, I finally found the jokes hilarious.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 18 . 12/22/2014
Finally, after all that filler and a flashback to Toshiro's past (um, okay, poor guy was bullied by Straton, dumped by Regina, etc. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? He's acting like a jerk so far), something happens. Max disappears! Now that seems interesting.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 17 . 12/22/2014
How did they get lost to the extent that they ended up in a forest? The moment you see lots of trees and no houses, why would you proceed further? Damn, the guys' antics continue to confound me. I guess I have a completely different sense of humor.
And that was pretty random, though I did find it funny when Anita and Toshiro gathered firewood out of nowhere and were already preparing to stay the night. But normally Teresa shouldn't react like that. Her parents would be worried, searching for her (in fact, so would Harold and all the other parents unless Toshiro's parents are the evil jerks they are and couldn't be bothered when their son doesn't return home).
And I agree with Toshiro...what the hell is going on with the plot? This certainly reads like filler.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 16 . 12/22/2014
That was...weird. Seriously?! Max just goes, "I'm in love with Teresa!" and the other two are like, "oh wow, love at first sight, we support you!" I'm not sure about this, but I'm pretty sure that's not how the dialogue is supposed to work out in real life. Then again, I've no idea how to make it natural, so never mind.
However, what Max did was inexcusable. You went and hugged a girl who barely knows you, and then declared that she was your girlfriend?! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? That's not just odd, that's...creepy and downright stalker-ish. I don't know whether it's different in whatever country Max lives in (America?), but if it's Japan or an Asian country, he's going to be arrested. And seriously, if I were Teresa, I would be running away from them instead of going "I've no chocie but to walk home with them". The trio are behaving pretty weirdly.
And I'm pretty sure that Teresa should have noticed something was wrong way before a few hours passed while she was walking. And she's right, the three of them are idiots. I think you meant for this to be funny, but to me they were just behaving like idiots, and I felt the same way Teresa did rather than amused. If I could shoot them, I would have. And what's the point of letting them follow you when you told them not to talk to you?! Just run away and leave them in the dust!
| SupaSaiyanGamer chapter 83 . 12/21/2014
Man...so this was Karly's first act on the path of darkness. Drat, guess my guess was wrong XD Anyways, great chapter. I'm starting to feel bad for Teddy as we continue going through all of these flashbacks.
| YoursTruly519 chapter 83 . 12/20/2014
Wow. This chapter really really blew me away. Everything Karly does and says just catches me off guard and keeps me on the edge of my seat. You've captured her perfectly! It is so realistic and lines up really well with who she later becomes. Also I feel like the way you wrote teddy and Eugene was in a youthful way (like it should be) and it also seems to measure up perfectly. The whole chapter was very satisfying to me as the reader especially after all the chapters before it. This is the cherry on the top to a lot of things we miss out on seeing from the characters! So perfect job :D it was amazing to read and I dont think I have enjoyed such a short piece so immensely in a while.
| SupaSaiyanGamer chapter 82 . 12/19/2014
Love how you give a short little recap in the beginning. Nice little touch :D
This was a very touching chapter. Showing the growth of Teddy and Karly's friendship really hits home after seeing Karly's fate in present times. Can't wait to see what else Book 3 has in store!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 15 . 12/19/2014
Um, what poll? I don't see any poll. I think this is it, I don't really have the time to read all 80 plus chapters in one day. So I'll stop here for today.
Anyway, poor Teresa, but yeah, Kristen is a bitch. Just as I expected. Oh well. Poor Alice, stuck with a bitch like that. And good going, Teresa. It's best to stay away from people like Kristen. Go hang out with Anita instead. :)
I'll read the other chapters on another day, and I'll have to do it in batches. I obviously can't read the remaining 70 plus chapters in a single day because I have other responsibilties and stuff. Sorry about that.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 14 . 12/19/2014
I'm pretty sure anyone with an ounce of common sense would know that. And if they are that stupid they never would have gotten onto Fictionpress anyway. They would have killed themselves injecting animal blood into their own veins or something.
Ryuu should be the one to transform into a dragon, considering his name is Dragon in Japanese. Ha ha ha ha!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 13 . 12/19/2014
Wow, Harold is really terrified of clowns. I can't stop laughing at that.
But James...dude, that guy is crazy. Oh well. Can't blame him.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 12 . 12/19/2014
Yes, the Ouija Board IS very dangerous. Can't believe Max, Toshiro and friends tried to use it. That was kind of...ill-advised. Good thing it broke in the end, it means they'll be out of danger. Or so it seems.
On to the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 11 . 12/19/2014
YAY! Romance! Er...no, wait, what? Did Toshiro just get friendzoned?! NOOOOO!
Well, it was sweet of Anita to choose Toshiro over Kristen. And Kristen is a bitch! All right, I'm over-reacting. Never mind. But good to see Anita give that girl the metaphorical middle finger. Ha ha ha!
On to the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 10 . 12/19/2014
Sticky has just gotten into a sticky situation. Muahahaha.
Next chapter. Going to speed read the next couple of chapters because I've over 80 chapters to catch up on. Sigh.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 9 . 12/19/2014
If those "parents" really hated Toshiro, why even bother with the adoption in the first place? Sigh.
Oh well, never mind. At least we have some insight into poor Toshiro's life. Let's see how Jimmy's son develops.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 8 . 12/19/2014
Yay, awesome fight scene. Nicely written, and glad to see Donald survived (though it was expected from the private messages we had been exchanging). So this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
And Max...read the damned mood. Your dad is fighting a monster and all you can think of is your dumb hamburger?! I know it's meant to be funny, but Max kind of annoyed me more than amused me. At least the end was appropriate! Tacos! YAY!