Reviews for Forbidden Fruits
AnnieHonson25 chapter 24 . 2/5/2012
The love triangle you made up was pretty interesting (LOL, sorry for not reviewing).

I've noticed this in all of your chapters: Your events are happening too quickly. It's like a bunny, hopping from this to that and then something else. It seems too vague. I recommend you add a little more detail.

Bess is kind of a whore... but I can tolerate her. And you used it as a proper element for the story, so it isn't so much of a bad thing.

-Annie
Senseless Prophecy chapter 1 . 12/31/2011
I think the part where the blood and brains splattered over Bess were quite gross.. but your story's neat though.
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 22 . 10/12/2011
Oh my gosh... Bess, you dissapoint me so... :) I wuv you!
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 21 . 10/11/2011
My golly gosh! Bess. Is. A. Whore. And you think you know a person! lol, I'll bet you missedddd me! You still haven't posted the 'If Bess was like Bella' story that we made up *frowns* How could you *sobs pathetically* *peeks to see if you react* Nothing? Reallly? I shall now be forced to use the Puppy dog face! I will! I swear I will!
Inquiete chapter 19 . 8/26/2011
Wow, why did she do that? I mean, that was, wow. I did not see that coming. Keep it coming OK.
Inquiete chapter 18 . 8/26/2011
OK, I may not LIKE Benjamin but this one time I will say it, poor Benjamin. I hate poeple like that! I hate, hate, hate HATE poeple like that. And plus, why do poeple keep calling Bess a whore? She is not a whore! And yes I may like Mclynette better then Ben but I still hate him. I want to beat the crap out of him. He won't even take Bess to a doctor. And he has the NERVE to say he hasn't hurt her! Don't misunderstand me, I love the chapter, it was real good, emotional and deep. But at the same time.
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 17 . 8/24/2011
Oh... so she's one of THOSE girls :P lol. It's another perfect chapter by you :) I was disappointed with the captain... that naughty man. Bess needs to control her hormones lol jk.
Inquiete chapter 17 . 8/23/2011
That was amazing. Man this story just keeps getting better and better. Are they starting to fall in love? Update soon. :)
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 16 . 8/23/2011
Marrier dude: You may salute the bride Captain&Bess: *make out* Bess: He sure has a hot body... lol! Captain:Wtf! Bess: Even though I'd love to stare at your 2 pack, I want you to change over there. Captain: *quickly tapes fake abs to stomach* let us make love! Bess: ABSTAINANCE! Lol I can't tell you how hilarious I think this story is :)
Inquiete chapter 16 . 8/22/2011
Poor Bess, that must have hurt.
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 15 . 8/21/2011
Benjamin! How dare you defile the captain's fiance! Or attempt to! You are one sick puppy *shakes head in disgust* and I thought that you were such a kind young man! Pervy McPerverson! *dissapointed look* lol jk... seriously though, he loves her, but he immediatly wants in her petticoats as soon as they start kissing? Man, I've never seen love displayed that way... Ben:*half naked* Whatsherface: that man was about to do you? He totally loves you! Wow, now I feel all mean... But no bother, just ignore me, it's quite obvious that I'm the only one who thinks that :P I love your writing style, and you. sorry for the rant :)
Cynthia M chapter 15 . 8/20/2011
Wow. It's a good thing the Captain didn't catch Bess & Benjamin kissing.
Inquiete chapter 15 . 8/20/2011
Nice chapter. Poor Benjamin, poor Bess. Update soon.
Inquiete chapter 14 . 8/20/2011
Good. .
EverySilverLiningHasACloud chapter 13 . 8/18/2011
The Captain, is a dickhead...
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